


You were university for me

by fairyfions



Category: One Direction (Band), Sweet Creature - Harry Styles (Song), Walls - Louis Tomlinson (Album)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Harry, College, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Friends to Lovers, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Smut, Top Louis Tomlinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 31,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26371525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyfions/pseuds/fairyfions
Summary: COMPLETEDJealousy, heartbreak, cheating. That is university for you. Why would it be any different for Harry?Or, what happens when you fall for a straight guy on the first day of university?You can find this work under the same title (by me, fairyfions) on Wattpad as well.#larry #onedirection #college #friendstolovers
Relationships: Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Jade Thirlwall, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 36
Kudos: 103





	1. Blossom out

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my new fic, I hope you like it, check out my other fic "The press conference" :)  
> Lots of love and don't forget to leave kudos and comments, let me know what you think x

All he knew was that he was ready. Ready to leave his mum’s house, even though she was the sweetest woman on earth, bless her. He was ready to maybe finally be someone. Someone with a personality, someone with a bunch of friends, just someone. Harry had always been lowkey, he had his two or three friends and he hadn’t been particularly engaged in doing anything really, he had never joined a team or had signed up for interesting activities. But overall it hadn’t been a sad life. But he hadn’t been and still wasn’t fulfilled. He wanted more out of life, was that too much to ask? His plan was to go to university in London, find a nice group of friends, sign up for some interesting courses and activities and maybe make something out of his life. He didn’t want to look back at his university years the way he looked back at his school years, with regret. 

He had decided to come all by himself, he really did love his mum but there were some things in life you had to do on your own. The campus was massive, and his dorm room was located perfectly in the middle of the university building and a bunch of coffee shops and restaurants. He had requested a single dorm room, he did want to make friends, but he also needn’t some space from time to time, he was an introvert after all. The interior design wasn’t spectacular, but he already planned on hanging up some pictures and buying some plants to make the space feel more like a home. He was into that kind of stuff.

After he had gotten rid of all of his belongings and had taken a shower, Harry decided to explore the campus some more, he was a sucker for coffee and right now he could definitely use one from one of the coffee shops. He threw on one of his old band tees and slipped on his fake leather boots that his sister despised. Not everyone in the family could be so fashionable as him, he guessed. Sorry, Gemma.

The campus was still sort of deserted when he walked along the huge football field, but he hadn’t expected to make friends on his first day anyways. It would have been nice though, he did feel kind of alone at the moment, without his mum or his sister there. He decided that being an adult sucked and wished that he could’ve stayed in school, leading his boring yet stable and predictable life. It wasn’t even guaranteed that he would live this awesome new life that he had dreamed of, what if he wouldn’t find any friends? What if his literature courses would suck? Why was he even doing that, he had gotten the offer to work full time in the bakery that he occasionally had helped out in. But oh well, he was here now, wasn’t he?

Harry stepped into the coffee shop that was, thank god, not as deserted as the rest of the campus. A bunch of students were sat around the cozy looking tables, drinking their hot beverages, either studying or chatting with their friends. He knew that this would most definitely become his favorite spot on campus and hopefully he could come here with the friends that he was yet to make. None of the people in the coffee shop looked like they wanted to be chatted up by him though and he was too shy to do that anyways. Although, saying that he was shy probably wasn’t the best description, more like socially anxious and awkward.

He was just staring at the different cakes displayed behind a glass window when he felt something hot spilling on him.

“What the fuck?”, Harry nearly screamed, knowing that he was being overly dramatic but he couldn’t help it, the coffee stain on his arm was burning him.

“Fucking hell, m’ so sorry mate”, exclaimed a blonde dude with a panicked expression on his face.

“I’m so clumsy, it’s ridiculous, I’m sorry, I can wash that for you”, continued the stranger and Harry couldn’t help but giggle seeing how stressed he looked.

“No worries, at least now I smell like coffee”, said Harry, instantly regretting saying something so weird. The guy looked at him for a second before he irrupted in laughter.

“Good one, always look on the bright side, eh?”, joked the guy with a happy smile on his face.

“I’m Niall.”

“Nice to meet you Niall, I’m Harry”, said Harry and smiled back at Niall.

“But still, I wanna make it up to you, let me buy you a coffee, have you got any plans? We can hang out, you look like you’re new here”, said Niall with an understanding smile on his face.

“I would love that.”

They ordered their coffees and made their way out of the coffee shop. Harry instantly felt happy and calm in Niall’s presence which he took as a good sign, he rarely felt that way around new people.

“So, young Harry, tell me, what are you studying?”

“Literature, I’m only starting on Monday, so we’ll see how that goes.”

“No worries, studying and university seem way scarier than they eventually are”, said Niall with a reassuring smile on his face.

“I’m in my second year, I’m doing music production, I love it”, continued Niall and Harry was slightly impressed. He had always loved music but had been too scared to actually try and make a career out of it.

“That’s sick, do you play any instruments?”, asked Harry and Niall started laughing.

“Of course, kid, what do you think? I’m playing the guitar, the piano and I sing, and we work a lot with different music production tools on the computer, I’ll show you some soon.”

Harry felt content knowing that Niall could possibly become a regular friend and not just someone who felt the need to buy him a coffee because he had spilled his on him.

“Sounds good! Where are you from by the way? I can definitely hear an accent there, Ireland?”

“Yup, I’m from a small town called Mullingar, you probably have never heard of it. What about you, are you form around here?”, asked Niall.

“Nope, I’m from Cheshire, Holmes Chapel, you probably have never heard of that either”, grinned Harry.

They were walking along the football field that Harry had passed on his way to the coffee shop, but this time it wasn’t deserted. A couple of guys in jerseys, probably the football team of the university, were stretching and chatting with each other, looking happy to be back on the field after the break. Harry heard a high-pitched laugh and to say it wasn’t the most angelic thing that he had ever heard was a lie. He looked for the source of the noise and saw an impossibly petite guy who had the number 28 on his back. He had feathery brown hair, that were sticking to his forehead right now. Harry was truly mesmerized by his beauty even though he was only seeing him from at least 20 feet away. He heard Niall ask him something from the distance, but he couldn’t possibly concentrate on Niall when this actual angel was in front of him.

Out of the sudden everything turned black and Harry felt at throbbing pain in his forehead. When he opened his eyes again, he saw a concerned looking Niall sitting next to him.

“You good mate? You walked against the streetlamp”, asked Niall, still looking concerned.

“Yeah sure, just got a bit distracted”, said Harry, looking out for the beautiful football player again. But he was gone.


	2. I miss New York and I miss music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to name the chapter after the song that I'm listening to while writing. This time the choice fell on The greatest by Lana Del Ray, gotta love me some Lana.   
> Hope you like the new chapter, Louis seems like such a sweet person so far, ugh my heart.   
> Pls leave kudos and comments, lots of love x

It had been two days since Harry had tripped like an idiot in front of his only friend and the entire football team, fortunately no one has given him a hard time about it yet but he could still see that some people would look at him with a funny expression on their face. His classes hadn’t officially started, and he had passed his time with Niall, who had become a really close friend. They could usually be found in their favorite coffee shop on campus, called “Labels”. Niall was easy going and a little ray of sunshine, which Harry definitely needed in his life, considering that he was a constant overthinker. Niall also usually brought along some kind of instrument and Harry secretly loved having more music in his life.

It was the morning of his first classes, and he would start his day off with Contemporary English Literature. He was beyond excited and had already downloaded the syllabus for the course and had ordered the books they would read throughout the year. He really did want to make the most of his life as a student but he still wanted to have good grades to keep his scholarship. He was aware that his mum most definitely could not pay for his education on her own and he didn’t want to make her feel guilty by working four different jobs just to be able to stay in university.

He had slipped on his favorite Chelsea boots and an emerald colored blouse that his sister, Gemma, had gotten him for his last birthday. He felt quite good in his skin. He was aware that he was actually kind of good looking, with his brown curls, green eyes and the two dimples that came out every time someone managed to make him genuinely laugh. But that didn’t help him on days where he felt incredibly insecure and that was basically every second day.

He made his way from the dorms to the official university building and once again he noticed that people were looking at him as if they were wondering whether he was the bloke who managed to walk against a street lamp but he was fine as long as they just stared at him and didn’t actually come up to make fun of him. He was fragile after all.

The university building was massive, it was not humanly possible to actually find your way from A to B without getting lost. Harry struggled to find the west wing and then, once again, struggled to find his lecture hall. He was panting and 15 minutes late when he finally found it. He opened the door, still panting. His classmates once again looked as if something funny came out of his head and some even chuckled.

“You’re 15 minutes late”, said the teacher, who looked too young to actually be a teacher.

“I’m extremely sorry, I didn’t find it, got a bit lost”, he said and looked down with red cheeks.

“It’s okay, there’s a seat left over there”, she said with a sympathetic smile on her face.

Harry looked up and realized where she was pointing towards. The only empty seat was next to the angelic football player.

Said football player looked as if he would fall asleep any minute, his face lacked any kind of motivation and he looked kind of pale. He probably had had a rough night, that’s what they did on the football team after all, drinking and hooking up with girls, right?

But he did, however, give Harry a sympathetic smile when he sat down next to him.

“Hey, were you really lost or did you sleep in? I almost missed the class as well”, giggled the stranger and Harry felt a stab in his heart. He had giggled.

“Are you kidding me? This university is a bloody maze, I was truly lost!”, said Harry to defend himself and the beautiful stranger kept giggling.

“Fair enough, are you new here? I’m Louis.”

Louis. Beautiful name for a beautiful person.

“Nice to meet you, Louis. I am Harry”, said Harry and took Louis’ extended hand into his own.

Sparks. He could feel them. But did Louis feel them too?

Harry’s thoughts about whether or not Louis felt sparks too were interrupted by their teacher:

“Can the two of you keep it down, take out your syllabus.”

“Sorry”, said Louis and grinned at Harry.

“Mrs. Bones can be a handful but she’s actually a sweet person, you’ll like her.”

“Thanks, let’s hope so”, said Harry and turned his gaze towards her. He still wanted to do well in class, even though he was said next to the most beautiful human being on planet earth.

Louis had been right, Mrs. Bones actually was a lovely human being and the variety of books that she had chosen for the course was impressive and Harry couldn’t wait to read them all. Having Louis next to him actually hadn’t been as distracting so far, he felt relaxed and at ease, even though his heart did a little jump every time Louis turned towards him and smiled.

The bell rung and Harry started putting his sheets and books into his backpack when he felt Louis looking at him.

“You know, I can show you around a bit, if you want to. I remember how lost I was when I first started here”, said Louis with a genuine smile on his face. Butterflies erupted in Harry’s tummy and he nodded with a smile on his face.

“That would be lovely.”

Harry walked next to Louis and it seemed as if everyone on campus knew who Louis was. Guys wanted to be him and girls wanted him, classic jock as it seemed. But there was a difference, Louis actually seemed like a loveable and down to earth person, not someone who would bully the smarter kids and hook up with a bunch of cheerleaders at parties.

“Way to go, Mr. Popular, I feel honored to even walk next to you”, joked Harry and Louis chuckled next to him.

“Don’t be silly, this is university, not school anymore, you don’t have to be a douche to be the captain of the football team.”

“You’re captain of the football team? That’s actually really impressive, are you here on a scholarship then?”, asked Harry.

“Yup, quite proud of that to be honest. What are you studying by the way?”, asked Louis.

“I’m doing English Literature, how about you?”

“Drama, makes sense why we’re in the same book club then”, said Louis with a smirk on his face and Harry actually laughed out loud.

“Don’t call it book club, Contemporary English Literature sounds way more serious.”

“All right, all right”, grinned Louis.

“You’re actually quite alright, Curly. We should hang out some other time. How about you give me your phone number?”, asked Louis and Harry’s heart started racing. Did Louis just ask him for his phone number? Harry’s head was spinning.

“Uhm, sure thing, here you go”, he said and wrote it on Louis’ arm with sharpie.

“Sweet, I gotta run but I’ll text you, yeah?”

Louis was gone before Harry could answer and he was left standing in the hallway with a dumb grin on his face.

This time he actually found his way out of the building on his first try and was just unlocking the door to his dorm room when he felt his phone vibrate in the back pocket of his pants.

Louis: Hey Curls, the campus bar is doing karaoke on Friday, do you wanna go?

Harry’s heart did another jump, Louis obviously wanted to see him again and didn’t think that he was a total loser that walked against streetlamps. What a time to be alive. 

Harry texted Louis back with a small, smitten smile on his face.

To Louis: Sure thing, can’t wait.

Looked as if he was actually quite good at this whole making friends thing.


	3. I love it when we play 1950

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter, let me know in the comments x   
> By the way, I'm not a native speaker, so pls don't be too hard on me if there are any spelling errors etc. :)   
> Pls leave kudos and comments x   
> Lots of love x

Harry was trying to fix his hair, but his curls just didn’t cooperate. Oh, to have normal hair, like a normal human being. One could only dream. On good days, he actually really enjoyed having curly hair, he thought that they made him look cheeky and he secretly really liked how Louis had called him “Curls”. But right now, he just hated them. He wanted to look his best, it was his first time going out since coming to university and Louis would be there as well. Louis was one of these people who always looked flawless, without any effort. It was as frustrating as it was mesmerizing, and Harry couldn’t stop Louis’ perfect lips and eyelashes from popping up in his imagination.

Harry had decided to ask Niall to tag along and Niall seemed as if he would never pass on an excuse to go out and get wasted. The definition of a lad. Niall was currently spread out on his bed, strumming Harry’s new guitar, the one that Niall had gotten him.

“Seriously Harry, who are you trying to impress? Just leave your hair like that, no one cares, they’re all gonna be wasted anyways”, said Niall and threw a piece of dried mango in Harry’s direction.

“Stop it”, said Harry and tried to catch the mango, “I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m trying to look nice for myself, ever thought about that?”

“Okay, Romeo, but hurry up, we’re meeting Louis and his friends in 15 minutes. I still can’t believe that you’re friends with the captain of the football team, I’ve been studying here for a year and I’ve never gotten into the holy circle. Not until now, thanks for that bud”, laughed Niall and threw another piece of dried Mango on Harry.

“You’re very welcome but stop wasting food!”

Just when Harry had managed to tame the last misplaced curl, someone was knocking on the door. Harry took one last look in the mirror, hoping and praying for the best and made his way to the door. When he opened it, Louis’ ocean blue eyes were looking at him.

“Hi”, said Louis with a calm smile on his face.

“Hi”, replied Harry, feeling kind of breathless.

“These are Liam and Zayn. Come on guys, say hello, that’s Harry”, said Louis and two insanely good-looking guys appeared behind him.

“Sup?”, asked the raven-haired one and Harry noticed that their hands were interlaced. They were probably dating, which made Harry’s heart jump a little. He was a sucker for gay couples. Probably because his own love life was as dry as it could get.

“Hi, very nice to meet you, I’m Liam!”, said the other one politely. Harry shook his extended hand and all three of them came in.

“Lovely meeting you, I’m Harry. Louis, guys, that’s my friend Niall”, said Harry, pointing towards Niall who still hadn’t left his spot on the bed.

“Hey guys, how are ya?”

“I think I know you, weren’t we in the same Pop Culture class in the first year?”, asked Louis and Niall’s face lit up.

“You remember me? Wicked! Yes, we were!”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

“You know, because you’re on the football team and kinda cool and I’m just, you know, me”, said Niall while his face turned the color of a tomato.

“What is it with you guys thinking that being on the football team actually makes you cool?”, chuckled Louis and looked at Harry who looked a little like Niall, complexion wise.

“Anyways, we should head out, I wanna get a good spot”, said Niall and they all agreed and left Harry’s dorm room.

The True Religion, the campus bar, was packed when they arrived. Niall wasn’t joking when he said that it would be hard to get a good spot if they came a little too late. However, they managed to get a spot near the stage and bar and Harry felt as if he was on cloud nine. This was already cooler than the previous 19 years of his life.

Louis ordered a shot and a pint for all of them and Harry got a little anxious, he had always been a lightweight. It wasn’t that he didn’t like alcohol, he had just never had had the opportunity to go drinking often and drinking in your room and on your own was hella lame. It seemed as if Louis had seen his discomfort as he was looking at him in with a worried expression.

“You good, Curls? You scared of crowds or anything?”

“No, I’m not claustrophobic, it’s just all a little new for me. Going out and drinking, I mean”, said Harry, looking anywhere but at Louis.

“I see, you don’t have to be uncomfortable, we’re all chill and if you get anxious, I’ll get you home, big promise”, said Louis and smiled at Harry.

“Thank you.”

Five beers later and Harry felt as if he could do anything. Climbing the Kilimanjaro? No biggie. He had never been tipsy in his life and he actually liked how the alcohol made him feel. He felt cozy, happy and as if his head was in the clouds. He also loved hanging out with the four guys. Liam and Zayn were actually really lovely and funny and he was now certain that they were together. They had started making out ten minutes ago and Harry felt a mixture of discomfort and arousal. But that was probably just the alcohol. Niall seemed as if he liked the other three as well, especially Louis, he laughed about every single one of his jokes, even the bad ones. Harry tried not to feel too jealous, but not getting all of Louis’ attention made him feel uneasy. He felt pathetic.

“Let get this party started, am I right?”, shouted the blonde bartender and everyone roared in approval.

“The first song of the evening will be Mr. Brightside, any volunteers?”

Harry felt his feet moving before his brain could comprehend what was going on. He also felt Louis’ warm hand in his and his pondering heart.

“Harry, what the hell are you doing?”, asked Louis and looked at him with concern in his eyes.

“We’re singing, I feel like doing something stupid and I want to do it with you.”

The unease left Louis’ face and a smile spread across it.

“Let’s fucking do it then.”

“Hi, we would like to sing”, said a very tipsy Harry to the bartender who just laughed at him.

“Fine, here are the mics, what are you guys’ names?”

“I’m Haz and this is Lou.”

“Everyone, we’ve got our first duet of the night. Welcome to the stage Haz and Lou!”

With the bright lights blinding Harry, he didn’t feel as confident anymore. He saw the excited faces of the crowd and could feel his face heat up.

“Hey, you good?”, asked Louis and looked at him with a reassuring smile.

“Just a little nervous, I guess.”

“No need to be”, said Louis and squeezed his hand.

Harry heard the first few notes play and tried to focus on Louis instead of the crowd. He once again noticed Louis’ beautiful ocean blue eyes and felt himself fall just a little more for him. When Louis started singing, Harry’s head snapped into Louis’ direction. He sounded like an angel. He sounded so angelic that Harry almost missed his part. When he started to sing, harmonizing with Louis, everyone in the crowd started to go crazy. Harry had to admit, they did sound amazing together. Louis didn’t take his eyes of Harry while singing and Harry enjoyed the attention, he got from him. They gradually walked closer towards each other, until Harry could feel Louis’ breath on him. His skin tickled and he could practically feel the heat in his cheeks. What that boy did to him. He could see the twinkle in Louis’ blue eyes and just for a moment, he let himself believe that Louis felt it too. Whatever “it” was.

The song ended way too quickly for Harry’s taste and Louis took his hand and dragged him off stage. Everyone was still clapping and cheering and Harry couldn’t remember the last time he felt that high.

“That was incredible, Curls. Didn’t know you could sing”, said Louis cheekily, still holding Harry’s hand.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”


	4. Ophelia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently sat at work, someone pls come and kill me, or bring coffee and snacks. Either is fine.   
> Anyways, I hope you guys are doing fine!x   
> Pls leave kudos and comments, lots of love!x   
> Who's your fav character so far?

Harry could feel his pounding head, it almost felt as if someone was trying to rip his scull open. He decided then and there that he would never have a drop of alcohol again, ever. He slowly tried to open his eyes and it took him a few seconds to realize where he was, god, who he was even. He could make out a very groggy looking Niall next to him, then he saw Liam and Zayn laying in what looked like Niall’s bed. They were in Niall’s dorm room then. Good. They had made it back home in one piece. His eyes were searching for Louis. A slight panic spread in his body when he couldn’t immediately see him. But then he saw him spread across the floor near the door. He looked angelic in his sleep. God, when didn’t he? Harry tried to recreate everything that had happened the night before. He remembered drinks, lots of drinks. And he remembered Niall’s rosy cheeks that were moving every time he laughed about one of Louis’ jokes.

Louis.

Harry remembered his blue eyes. His touch on his skin. And he remembered them singing together. He still felt the high that he had felt last night. Singing with Louis, having his eyes on him, had probably been the best thing that he had ever experienced. Hands down.

Before Harry could drift off into daydreams about Louis’ lips against his, Harry felt Niall stir next to him. He opened his eyes that looked a bit glassy, Harry didn’t know whether it was from only having woken up or from having the worst hangover. Niall stared at Harry for a second, probably also trying to make sense of the situation, before a defeated grin spread on his face.

“What a night, what a night”, said Niall and chuckled which ended in him having a coughing fit.

“What a night”, replied Harry while still looking at Louis who was sound asleep.

“Jesus”, said a very disorientated looking Zayn, his hand laying in Liam’s lap.   
“What happened?”

Louis had finally woken up and looked as if he would die any second. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess and he looked kind of pale. Harry still found him breathtakingly beautiful.

“Shit, we have football training in 20 minutes, we can’t be late. You’re the captain Louis, you can’t be late”, said Liam while already pulling his pants up.

“Shit!”, exclaimed Louis.

Harry was trying his best not to feel hurt, Louis hadn’t looked at him since he had woken up. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to happen after last nights events but he knew that what had happened had been magical and it was quite simply not possible that he had been the only one who had felt it. But Louis kept avoiding his gaze. He probably wasn’t avoiding him, but that was what Harry kept telling himself. He was masochistic like that.

“Alright lads, we should get going, thanks for letting us crash here, Niall. See ya around”, said Louis and before Harry could reply anything, all three of them had left through the door.

“What a night”, said a grinning Niall.

“Yeah.”

It had taken Harry the whole weekend to get rid of his hangover and by now, he was certain that he never wanted to see or smell alcohol ever again. Harry also hadn’t heard anything from Louis which had been worse than the constant nausea and the pounding headache. Harry had been so sure that there had been a spark between them. But maybe Louis had a boyfriend, like Zayn and Liam, and felt guilty for flirting with Harry. Who knew? Harry still hadn’t told anyone about his now full-grown crush on Louis and he planned on keeping it that way. He didn’t want to be known as the guy who had fallen in love with a guy after two seconds of knowing him. He also didn’t want to destroy their newfound friendship group. He just didn’t want to cause any drama; he wasn’t the type to cause drama. He was the calm one, the reliable one, the one that listened to his sister’s drama, instead of telling her about his. It just wasn’t him.

Harry and Niall were currently looking for a free table in the cafeteria, but it looked as if they wouldn’t get lucky today. The place was packed. Harry was getting annoyed, he just wanted to eat his lunch and go back to class, he wasn’t in the best mood today and it only got worse, now that he was hungry.

“Hey guys, over here!”, shouted Louis, who was still dressed in his football gear.

“Sick, I’m starving”, said Niall and was already basically sprinting towards Louis’ table.

Harry couldn’t bring his feet to move for a second as he just stared at Louis and the moving Niall. He hadn’t seen Louis since Friday and he had almost forgotten how beautiful he was. Liam and Zayn were sat at the table, as well as a bunch of guys and girls Harry didn’t know. Harry finally felt his feet moving, making his way towards the table.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”, asked Harry shyly.

Louis was already nodding when Harry was suddenly roughly pushed to the side.

“No, I’m sitting here”, said the brunette girl that had just pushed Harry aside.

“Uhm, okay, sorry”, said Harry and looked at her, sitting in the seat next to Louis.

Something felt off.

“Who is that, darling? Why aren’t you introducing us?”, asked the girl and Harry’s heart missed a beat. Who was she calling darling?

“Sure, that’s Harry, he’s sat next to me in Contemporary English Literature. Harry, that’s my girlfriend, El.”

Girlfriend.

Louis had said girlfriend.

Harry needed to sit. Immediately.

He moved his weak legs to the seat next to Liam and sat down.

“Pleasure”, he mumbled, without looking at Louis and his girlfriend, who was apparently called El.

Great name. Elk.

“Hey, you alright? You look kinda pale”, asked Liam with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, just starving.”

Louis had a girlfriend. Wait. Louis was straight? What had happened between them then? Had Harry just imagined everything? He was a clown. A big fat clown who would probably die alone with a bunch of cats. He was just thankful that he hadn’t told anyone about his crush and that he had thought that they had flirted on Friday night. But they had flirted, hadn’t they? Harry was confused. Apparently, he knew even less about the whole falling in love thing than he had thought. What a tragedy. He was a tragedy. His love life was a tragedy.

“Haz?”, asked Niall and Harry realized that he had probably missed a question.

“Mh?”

“Do you wanna go to a party at Eleanor’s dorm on Friday? We’re all going”, asked Niall and Harry felt like puking just by hearing her name. Eleanor.

“Sure, why not.”

Harry decided that it probably wasn’t wise to ditch his only friends after only one week, just because he had gotten his heart broken a little bit. And after all, the heartbreaker didn’t even know that he had broken Harry’s heart. Louis looked perfectly fine, sitting in his seat, holding his girlfriend’s hand. Something did seem off though, Harry didn’t see any chemistry between them. Eleanor was clinging to Louis, while he was looking as if he was incredibly uncomfortable.

“Cool”, said Louis and Harry was glad that he had agreed to coming. Even if Louis and he weren’t gonna fall madly in love, he still liked him as a person, and it felt as if they could develop the most amazing of friendships. Once Harry had gotten over his broken heart. He just had to keep his mouth and his heart shut and he would be fine.


	5. Take a walk on the wild side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess if they won't give me anything to do at work, you guys are getting a new update!  
> I hope everyone is okay!!  
> Leave kudos and comments pllllss xxx  
> Thanks, lots of love, Fiona x  
> Check out my completed fic : "The press conference"

Harry’s first initial frustration about Louis having a girlfriend had eased even though it still hurt a little bit, thinking about her hands on him instead of his. Was that what university was all about? Getting your heart broken in the second week? But maybe that was just Harry. Maybe he just wasn’t made for having a love life. As tragic as it may sounded.

He was on his way to his Contemporary English Literature class, the only class he shared with Louis and to be honest, he was still kind of excited to see Louis. Louis seemed like a great person to just sit there and admire, even though their relationship was only platonic.

“Mr. Styles, glad to see that you’re on time”, smiled Mrs. Bones and Harry was glad that she didn’t hold a grudge against him. Harry wasn’t the rebellious type; all of his former teachers had liked him. They hadn’t loved him, he had been too invisible for that, but they hadn’t disliked him either. Just plain average.

“Mr. Styles, I’m also glad to see that you’re on time”, giggled Louis from his place in the fifth row.

“Oh well, thank you Mr. Tomlinson”, answered Harry and grinned at Louis.

Harry was positive that he could make the whole being friends thing work.

“Were you sick yesterday? You seemed kinda weird when I saw you in the cafeteria”, asked a concerned looking Louis and Harry had to turn his head into the other direction because his cheeks had turned a rosy shade.

“Just hungry, I guess”, shrugged Harry and hoped that Louis would just drop the topic.

Louis just smiled at him understandingly and the two tried to focus on Mrs. Bones class.

Mrs. Bones was just telling them about Khaleed Hosseini’s “The Kite Runner” when Harry noticed that someone was staring at him. He turned around and saw a tanned looking boy watch him from five rows away. He was pretty. Harry couldn’t deny that. He had blonde hair that rested on his shoulder and he looked as if he could be found on a surfboard outside of class. Even after Harry had looked away, the boy kept staring at him. Harry didn’t like attention too much, he had always enjoyed being invisible and having that boy’s eyes on him made him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“What’s wrong, Curls?”, asked Louis. He looked into the same direction as Harry and saw that Blondie was looking at Harry.

“What’s his problem?”, asked Louis again and Harry just shrugged.

Harry could feel that Louis kept looking between the two of them even after Harry had decided to keep his gaze straight towards Mrs. Bones.

The two of them were just on their way to the cafeteria when Blondie caught up with them.

“Hey, I’m Jack”, he simply stated and smiled at Harry.

“Hi, I’m Harry. Look if I offended you in any way, please don’t beat me up, I didn’t mean it, I promise”, sputtered Harry and Jack just laughed at him.

“Quite the contrary, I was wondering whether you wanted to go on a date with me?”, asked Jack and Harry could feel his face turn red.

“Uhm, sure”, said Harry shyly and Jack took his hand into his to write his phone number on the back of Harry’s hand.

“Cool, text me”, said Jack and disappeared between the other students.

“What was that?”, asked Harry, absolutely bewildered.

When Louis didn’t reply him, he looked over at him. Louis looked kind of pale, but at the same time kind of feverish, if that was even possible.

“Are you okay, Louis?”, asked Harry, starting to get concerned. Louis wouldn’t throw up, would he?

“You’re gay?”, asked Louis and Harry’s heart sank. He would hate him. Louis was secretly homophobic, and he would hate him. He could feel his eyes getting wet with tears.

“Uhm, yes”, answered Harry, looking at his feet.

“Cool, look I gotta go”, said Louis and disappeared.

Harry stayed behind alone in the hallway, still with tears in his eyes. What if Louis hated him now? He thought that having to deal with homophobes was a thing that he had left behind in his small hometown. But apparently not. And Louis of all people? He didn’t seem like the homophobic type at all. Harry’s heart was aching.

He made his way back to his dorm when he remembered Jack’s number on the back of his hand. Maybe he could cheer him up. Harry found him attractive after all.

Harry: Hi, it’s Harry from Mrs. Bones’ class.

Unknown number: Thanks for texting me. We should see each other again soon.

Harry: There’s that party on Friday, do you want to go with me and my friends?

Jack: Count me in.

Harry sighed and put his phone back into his pocket when he felt it vibrate again.

Louis: I’m sorry that I was being weird. Want to meet me for a coffee at Labels?

Harry’s heart did a little jump. Maybe Louis didn’t hate him after all.

Harry: Yes, see you there.

Harry walked into Labels and saw Louis sitting at one of the tables in the back, two coffees in front of him.

“Hey Curls, over here.”

“Hi”, said Harry, still feeling incredibly weird.

“I’m so sorry, you must think I’m a total twat. I promise, I’m not homophobic. I just never would’ve taken you for, you know, a gay”, said Louis, looking still a tad uncomfortable.

“A gay? Gosh Louis, relax. Why though?”, asked Harry and looked at Louis expectantly.

“Where I’m from, Doncaster, being gay just wasn’t, you know, a thing. There was this one guy. His name was Trevor, I mean, we had always known. He came out when we were 16 and started wearing girly clothes and people started being really mean to him. Spitting at him and stuff. I don’t know, when I picture gay men, I always just see him”, said Louis and he looked incredibly sad.

“What about Zayn and Liam though, aren’t they your best friends? They’re both gay.”

“That’s different”, said Louis with a stern look on his face.

“How’s that different?”

“I don’t know. It just ist”, replied Louis and Harry knew that he shouldn’t object to that.

“Anyways, I’m sorry, I definitely don’t have a problem with you being gay. So, that guy, Jack, will you go on a date with him?”, asked Louis and avoided Harry’s stare.

“I invited him to join us on Friday, I hope that’s cool. Now we just have to find a date for Niall and then we’re all set”, replied Harry with a smirk on his face.

Louis tried to chuckle, but it came out as a forced cough.

“Great. Can’t wait. Okay, I’ve got football practice soon, I should head out. See you on Friday, I guess”, Louis forced out and before Harry could answer anything, the boy was gone.


	6. Can be bring yesterday back around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm feeling really sad bcos the weather's shit and meh, so here's a really sad chapter lol  
> Sorry for that, it'll get better and happier, promise!  
> Leave comments and kudos pls and tell your friends about it :) x   
> love ya x

Harry wasn’t as nervous about his so-called date with Jack as he had been before his karaoke “date” with Louis, but he was still lowkey freaking out. Back home, he never really went on dates since no one in his tiny town ever came out as gay. He wasn’t sure whether it had been due to the fact that really no one had been gay or that no one had dared to come out. People had never bullied him because of his sexuality, which was probably mainly because of Gemma, threatening to cut their balls of, but he had still seen the funny looks. Small towns and being gay just weren’t two things that went well together. Even Louis had said that.

Louis.

Harry was still incredibly confused about their little talk and he didn’t have the social capacity to analyze what it had meant. But Harry was fine, really. He was fine. He would go on a date with Jack, maybe fall in love with him and Louis would be happy with Eleanor. That was just the way the world worked.

Harry heard a knock on the door, which probably meant that Jack had arrived. Harry took one last look in the mirror and walked towards the door.

“Hey, you look nice”, said Jack with a smile on his face and Harry decided that this might actually wasn’t the worst idea he had ever had.

“Thank you, that’s nice”, stuttered Harry, followed by a small, “so do you”.

He was shit at flirting.

Jack just chuckled and they left Harry’s dorm to walk over to Eleanor’s. Harry remembered that Louis told him that Eleanor lived in an all-girls dorm, one that came closest to what Americans called sororities. Great, just what Harry was into. Not that he didn’t like girls, he had many friends that were girls, but he knew how parties usually went for him. He would mind his own business and a bunch of drunk girls would try to get him to make out with them. He hated it. And the worst thing was that no one would say a thing, because he was supposed to love being groped by attractive young girls. That’s what people kept saying. And no one understood that it was in fact just as hurtful as a guy groping a girl inappropriately at a party.

“You alright?”, asked Jack and Harry realized that he had zoned out.

“Sure.”

They had arrived in front of Eleanor’s dorm and Harry’s discomfort was skyrocketing when he heard drunk girls yelling in the backyard. Great.

“How’s it?”, yelled an already drunk Niall and Harry’s mood brightened immediately.

“Hey guys, good to see you. That’s Jack, uhm, my date”, said Harry and his face turned tomato red.

He hugged the others and they all had a knowing smirk on their face.

“Louis said that he was pretty, but gosh mate, you’re fit”, said Liam which earned him a punch in the upper arm from Zayn.

“Sorry, babe.”

“Well done, Haz”, said Niall and gave him a massive grin on his face.

“Whatever...”, said Harry and tried to not look into Jack’s direction who was trying to hold his laughter back.

“Thanks, but I’m the lucky on here”, said Jack and took Harry’s hand into his own. When Harry looked up to give Jack a surprised smile, he saw Louis coming out of the house, holding Eleanor’s hand.

“Oh, wow, you guys are going fast”, said Louis and looked at their intertwined hands with what probably should’ve been a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, right”, said Harry and took his hand back, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable, “I think, I need a drink”.

“Wise words, Curls.”

They all went inside, and Harry decided then and there that he wasn’t a sucker for university parties. The air felt sticky and he could smell sweat and desperation in every corner. He would so need a drink.

“What do you want then?”, asked Jack and Harry felt his breath on his neck. Harry tried to shift away from Jack without him noticing. He didn’t want to upset Jack but he also didn’t feel comfortable being so close to Jack. He didn’t really know him after all. Jack apparently couldn’t take a hint and just came right after Harry, who again, felt Jack’s hot breath on his neck.

“You want a beer, Curls? Right this way”, asked Louis and basically dragged him away from Jack towards the kitchen.

“Thanks” said Harry with a small smile on his face.

“Yeah, sure. Let me know when you need me, yeah?”, said Louis and the look on his face was so genuine that Harry’s heart melted a little bit.

“Yeah.”

After a while, Harry decided that maybe he should just get a little drunk, forget about his uprising anxiety and the way Jack’s hand felt so out of place on his lower back. They had started dancing and Jack was getting closer and closer, Harry tried to close his eyes and zone out in order to collect his thoughts and calm down. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Louis looking at him. Despite him dancing with Eleanor, he kept his gaze on Harry and Jack and looked incredibly furious for such a small person.

“Why is your little friend staring at us like that? Should we give him a show?”, slurred Jack and Harry felt his hands moving down his body. Harry was panicking, unable to defend himself. He just let it happen, wishing that Jack would just let go of him.

“Jack, please”, whined Harry but Jack wouldn’t let go of him.

“Jack”, attempted Harry again but Jack ignored him.

Harry felt like crying, he wanted to disappear. He felt dirty with Jack’s hands on him and he felt silly for being excited about a date with a guy who now groped him in the middle of a sweaty university party. Louis still stared at the two of them and Louis’ eyes caught his. It felt as if Louis’ eyes held hundreds of questions, but Harry wasn’t able to express what he really felt. He tried to give Louis a sad little smile and that was when something in Louis’ eyes shifted. Harry could see Louis say something into Eleanor’s ear which she apparently didn’t like. She stormed off to god knows where and Louis made his way over to Jack and Harry.

“Excuse me”, said Louis politely but Jack ignored him as well.

“Mate”, said Louis, this time louder and with a pissed expression on his face.

“What? Can’t you see that I’m busy?”, snarled Jack with a disgusting grin on his face.

“Stop touching him like that or I’ll make you stop”, said Louis’ through gritted teeth. Harry could see that it took him an immense amount of willpower not to throw Jack across the room.

“I would love to see that, you twink”, grinned Jack and Harry could see a sparkle in Louis’ eyes before he threw himself on Jack, fists first.

“Let go of him, you disgusting prick”, shouted Louis while punching Jack over and over again.

Everyone gathered around them and Harry was frozen in his spot.

“Louis mate stop it”, said Zayn calmly and pulled Louis off of Jack.

“You just wait”, glared Louis and Jack just laughed his dirty laugh.

“One day, I’ll fuck your little princess here and there’s nothing you can do about it”, sneered Jack and took one last lustful look at Harry that made Harry’s stomach turn. Then he just disappeared in the crowd.

“Let go of me!”, screamed Louis, “I need fresh air”.

He stormed out and it took Harry only a second to realize that he had to follow him.

Louis was standing on the front porch, still panting.

“I’m so sorry, that’s all my fault”, said Harry, feeling small and dumb.

“Don’t be stupid, it’s not. You’re perfect”, said Louis, avoiding Harry’s gaze.

“What did you just say?”, asked Harry because he had to make sure that he had heard Louis correctly.

“Nothing. Forget what I said. Forget what has happened tonight. Just..try to avoid this guy, okay?”, he mumbled and before Harry could say anything, Louis had left him standing on the front porch. All by himself. Again.


	7. Our last summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone :)  
> I would love to learn more about you guys, like your names and where you're from and stuff. Please leave some comments so we can chat a little! x   
> Anyways, I hope you like this chapter, I felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside writing it hihi   
> Lots of love x

Harry woke up and he immediately felt shame crawling up and down his body. He felt dirty thinking about the way Jack had put his hands on him the night before. He had to blink rapidly to get rid of the hot tears in his eyes or else he would probably break down. After he had pitied himself for at least 30 minutes, Harry came to the conclusion that it was probably best if he took a hot shower, to sort of wash away last night’s guilt. He tried to get out of bed and undressed but his aching head was killing him.

“Fucking great”, he said to himself.

He crawled to the bathroom on all fours and thought to himself that he had never felt this low in his life. Not even when Oliver Polinski had pulled down his pants in 6thgrade. Fucking Oliver Polinski.

He immediately felt some relieve when the first drops of hot water hit his aching head.

“Jesus”, he muttered to himself.

He started to hum some melody that had been stuck in his head for the better part of the week. By the time he had put conditioner in his curls, he was full on performing in his tiny shower. His head wasn’t aching anymore and the guilt that he had felt when he woke up had lessened to an extend where he didn’t feel like crying every time he thought about the night before. When he was done, he wrapped his curly hair in one of his fluffy towels that were a nice lavender shade and stepped out of the bathroom.

His heart nearly stopped when he saw someone sitting on his bed.

“Louis, what the fuck?”, shouted Harry and tripped a few steps back.

“I didn’t know that you could sing. I might have to call you Nightingale instead of Curls from now on”, said Louis but he wasn’t looking Harry in the eyes. His eyes were roaming Harry’s body and it felt as if the room had just gotten ten degrees hotter.

“What are you doing here?”, asked Harry while trying to cover his body with a second lavender towel.

“Do you maybe wanna put on some clothes first?”, asked Louis, still checking Harry out.

“Why?”, stuttered Harry, still unable to form a coherent thought.

Louis raised one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows and let his eyes meet Harry’s. Harry saw something in them. It reminded Harry of what he thought lust had to look like.

“Right, sorry ”, said Louis and stood up from the bed to look out the window.

Harry put on his most comfortable shorts and an old shirt, still feeling flushed. Louis had faced the window while Harry had changed into his clothes, but it seemed as if he had been watching him from the corner of his eye once or twice. Which made Harry feel even more flushed.

“Done”, said Harry, still struggling to breathe.

“You have four nipples”, stated Louis with a slight grin on his face, “any other secrets that are worth exploring?”.

“Uhm..”, stuttered Harry, unable to give any kind of answer.

“Everything at the proper time”, whispered Louis, so low that Harry had almost missed it.

“Right”, said Harry with a face of the shade of a tomato.

“Anyways, I just wanted to check in on you, after last night. Ask if you’re alright?”, asked Louis with sudden concern in his eyes.

Harry felt his insides warm, it was such a precious thing when people showed real care and interest.

“Do you fancy a walk?”, asked Harry instead of replying and Louis nodded with a small smile.

“Sure.”

They walked along the campus and Louis didn’t ask him how he doing was again. He probably wanted to give him time to think and Harry was grateful for it.

“Beautiful day today, innit?”, asked Louis but his eyes weren’t focused on the scenery around them, but on Harry.

“Yeah, yeah totally”, muttered Harry, “Look, I just wanted to thank you again. You know, for standing up for me. It meant a lot.”

“Anytime. I mean it. But are you okay?”, asked Louis, his eyes still focused on Harry.

“I think I am. I just don’t want to see Jack again. Which is sort of impossible, since he’s in our class and you know, the campus isn’t huge”, rambled Harry.

“If he bothers you again, in any way, I’ll have another word with him.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I sort of have to though”, said Louis, not bothering to explain his cryptic words.

“I sometimes think that people assume that just because I am gay, I want to get with every man I see. Which is not true. I crave romance as well. I want to be treated with respect. I’m not a piece of meat”, said Harry with a sad voice, the events of the night before slowly catching up with him.

“And you deserve nothing less, you’re wonderful Harry”, whispered Louis, avoiding eye contact with Harry.

“So are you.”

They smiled at each other with the orange and brown leaves crunching beneath their feet with every step they took.

“I love this season”, smiled Louis and jumped right into a pile of leaves.

“You’re a dork”, laughed Harry while watching Louis jump around to crunch as many leaves as possible.

“Come on, Curls. Live a little. It’s fun, I promise”, whistled Louis and extended his hand for Harry to take.

“You’re unbelievable”, muttered Harry.

He took his hand and began jumping in the pile of leaves with Louis. They both had silly smiles on their faces, their cheeks turning red from the cold and their jumping. Harry was still holding Louis’ hand and he didn’t plan on letting go of it any time soon. He knew that he would eventually hurt himself by being so close to Louis and imagining things that would never happen but he couldn’t help it. Right in this moment he knew that he had helplessly fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson.

After they were both out of breath, Harry decided that it was time for a hot chocolate with marshmallows, which Louis didn’t object to.

After they had taken a seat, Louis offered to buy them both hot chocolates which Harry agreed to after a heated argument of “no, I’m paying!”. Harry was looking around to see if there were any familiar faces in the coffee shop, still having a dumb grin on his face from being so happy.

“What are you smiling about Curls?”, asked Louis with a fond look on his face, two hot chocolates in his hands.

“Nothing, just happy”, smiled Harry and Louis returned his smile.

“Me too.”

They sat on the coach in the back of the coffee shop for the better part of the day and Harry got lost in their endless conversations and Louis’ blue eyes. He felt pure content and wondered what it would be like if every day could be like this. It turned out that they had the same taste in music and both wanted to travel the world, especially Brazil. Louis told him about his countless siblings and Harry decided right in this moment that he wanted to meet every single one of them.

“Do you have siblings as well?”, asked Louis, honest interest in his eyes.

“One sister, her name is Gemma. She’s annoying.”

“So are you, Curls”, giggled Louis.

“Take that back!”, shouted Harry and started to tickle Louis. Louis was screeching and squirming around, making way more noise than you would expect from such a smol creature.

Harry pinned him in the royal blue armchair he was sitting in and Louis stopped laughing. He looked at him and it felt as if Louis was studying every last freckle on his face. Louis smiled softly and Harry couldn’t help but return the smile.

“I like your dimples.”

“I like you”, answered Harry and Louis’ eyes started to twinkle.

“I like you too.”

They kept staring at each other fondly for a couple more seconds when they heard someone cough behind them.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything here? Louis, where’s El?”, asked a tall blonde girl.

Louis was off Harry within a second, leaving a cold feeling behind.

“Jenna, what are you doing here?”, stuttered Louis.

“I could ask you the same thing”, said the girl called Jenna, looking Harry up and down.

“Who is this?”

“Just my mate Harry, he’s new. You probably haven’t met him”, answered Louis, avoiding Harry’s eyes. Harry felt a pinch of hurt. For a second he had forgotten that all of this was one-sided and that he had to leave his little bubble eventually. Louis had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that was very much female.

“Anyways, I should head out. Call Eleanor, Louis.”

Louis visibly exhaled when she had left the coffee shop, still avoiding Harry’s gaze.

“I should probably go and call El.”

“Maybe you should”, smiled Harry, not wanting Louis to know how hurt he truly was.

“I’ll call you, Harry. Okay?”

“Okay.”

And with that, Louis had left the coffee shop.


	8. Come and sit next to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but I moved! Everything went well and I love my new flat and flat mate.   
> How are all of you doing? x  
> Pls leave kudos and comments :)   
> Lots of love!

Harry had waited for what felt like ages, but Louis didn’t call. Harry felt stupid and vulnerable once again. He had opened his heart to Louis, knowing that he couldn’t be his and that Louis was straight with a girlfriend. He just wanted to be loved. That was all. He hadn’t told Niall or the other guys about where he stood with Louis and decided once again to keep it to himself. His friend group was too precious to him. He didn’t want to fuck shit up.

He was laying on the bed, staring at his phone when someone knocked on the door. Harry’s heart missed a beat, thinking that it could be Louis who instead of just calling, payed him a visit to confess his undying love for him. But once again, he was let down. It was just Niall.

“Hey mate, you good? Were you in hiding?”, asked Niall, already jumping on Harry’s bed as if it was his.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn’t feeling myself. I hope you guys aren’t mad”, said Harry, avoiding Niall’s gaze.

“Of course not! Louis said that you were probably sick or something. Whatever.”

So Louis hadn’t completely forgotten about him. That was good to know.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Listen, I just came to ask whether you wanted to come to the football game with me?”, asked Niall with a hopeful little smile on his face.

A football game. Louis was on the football team, he was the captain in fact. Which meant that he would most definitely be there. Harry was torn between wanting to get some space between him and Louis to get over his crush and wanting to see Louis so badly that he felt as if he would die if he spent one more day without seeing Louis. Without taking a second thought, Harry nodded.

“Sure.”

“Sweet, we can play a round of Fifa here and then leave!”, chimed Niall.

“Why not”, said Harry, still feeling distant, struggling with himself and his thoughts.

They played until Niall took a look on the clock, almost falling off Harry’s bed.

“Jesus, we’re late. Come on Haz!”

They basically ran all the way to the stadium, already hearing the students on the bleachers screaming and chanting. They were terribly out of breath once they arrived, looking for two free spots on the bleachers.

“It’s packed”, simply stated Harry.

“Yeah, everyone here loves the team and the games. They’re kind of a big deal around campus if you haven’t noticed.”

Harry had noticed. He saw how people looked at Louis and even Liam and Zayn. They looked up to them. And to be honest, so did he. He would give a lot to have Louis’ confidence, Liam’s intelligence or Zayn’s calmness. He was just Harry. No wonder that Louis would choose Eleanor over him.

“Hey, you alright?”, asked Niall and Harry tried to gather his thoughts and focus on Niall and the game. There was no good in beating yourself up for things that you couldn’t change.

“Yeah, sorry. Just zoned out for a sec.”

“Look, there is Lou! He looks fit in his football gear! Might turn gay for the lad”, laughed Niall and Harry tried to laugh along.

“Sure”, mumbled Harry. Niall was right though, Louis looked well fit in his tiny shorts with his sweaty hair sticking to his forehand. Harry imagined running his fingers through his hair and he felt his cheeks heat up. It wasn’t the first time that Harry’s mind wandered to imagining doing certain things to Louis and Harry was always left feeling guilty and incredibly aroused.

The game had started and even though Harry knew nothing about football, he immediately saw that not only Louis, but the whole team was incredibly strong. Their defense was solid and they had more scoring chances than the other team. Harry felt embarrassingly proud of Louis and imagined what it would be like if he could celebrate with him after the game, sort of like his cheerleader.

The team kept their standard up for the remainder of the game and when the referee blew his whistle to signify the end of the match, the team had won 3-1. Harry felt adrenaline rushing through his body, wanting nothing more than to run over to Louis and celebrate with him. He kept his eyes on Louis, following his every move. He smiled like a dork every time Louis did a celebratory jump or shook hands with another student. However, his smile froze when he spotted Eleanor making her way from the crowd towards Louis. Harry knew what would happen next but he couldn’t get himself to look away. He probably liked the pain. Eleanor planted a passionate kiss on Louis’s lips and the people around them cheered some more. Everyone loved a power couple. Everyone except Harry. His stomach turned, watching Eleanor clinging to his Louis. Just in that moment, Louis caught Harry’s eyes and once again, Harry couldn’t look away. As always, Harry wasn’t able to read Louis’ expression, but he looked hurt. Harry wanted to walk over to him and cure him of whatever hurt him, he couldn’t stand seeing Louis like that. He was the sun and should always feel complete happiness.

“Party at Lord Home Hall!”, shouted the usually so quiet Zayn and everyone roared in agreement.

Harry was glad. He needed to get wasted enough to forget about the hurt state of his heart and this seemed like the perfect excuse.

They made their way to Lord Home Hall which was the dorm next to Harry’s. In his eyes, all dorms looked the same, but it was still interesting to see what people did with their dorm rooms and the community rooms. The community room Zayn and his floor mates shared was plastered with posters of famous football players. Some of them weren’t wearing shirts and Harry thought that it probably had been Zayn who had hung them up. Harry had lost sight of Louis, but he was quite sure that he was someone with Eleanor, celebrating his victory. He chugged his beer, hoping that it would kick in soon.

“Easy there tiger”, chuckled someone near Harry. When he turned around to see who it was, his blood froze. Jack was standing relatively close next to him with a dirty grin on his face.

“What are you doing here, stay away from me”, mumbled Harry.

“Where’s your little protector? Has he dropped you? Bummer”, said Jack and seeing the evil in his eyes made Harry gulp.

“Did you say something, you rat?”

Louis turned up next to Harry and he had never been happier to see him. Louis quickly looked in Harry’s direction to check if he was. Harry gave him a tired little smile which was enough for Louis. Jack’s smile had disappeared from his face and he stared at Louis with blank hatred.

“Not so brave now, aren’t we?”, said Louis with a mocking tone and the two of them now stood face to face.

“Jealous that I got to touch your princess?”, whispered Jack in Louis’ ear and the color drained from his face.

“I’m gonna say this one last time. Get the fuck away from him and stay away.”

They stayed like that for a while, just glaring into each other’s eyes before Jack made an angry noise and basically ran out of the room.

“Thank you”, whispered Harry, staring at the floor. Then he felt Louis’ hand grabbing his, leading him out of the community room and into one of the dorm rooms.

“Where are we? What are we doing here?”, asked Harry, looking around for some kind of clue.

“We’re in my room”, said Louis dangerously close to his ear, so close that Harry could feel his breath on his neck. The hair on the back of his neck stood up in anticipation, blood rushing through his body.

“What are you doing, Louis?”, stuttered Harry.

“I hate the thought of him touching you”, whispered Louis in his ear.

“Why?”

“Because I want to be the only one who gets to touch you like that.” And with that Harry felt Louis’ hands on his torso, hugging him from behind. Harry’s body immediately reacted to Louis’ touch, his breath picking up pace and his skin heating up.

“You want this too”, Louis simply stated when he saw how Harry’s body reacted to him. He began moving his hands down Harry’s body and Harry felt as if he would burst any second.

“Turn around”, whispered Louis and Harry did as he said. He would do anything for him in this moment.

They stared into each other’s eyes, Harry down and Louis up due to their height difference. Harry could feel the anticipation sizzling on his skin and just when he was wondering when Louis would finally kiss him, he felt his lips on his.

The kiss blew his mind. Harry had been kissed before but this time was different. It felt as if his skin was on fire, he wanted to feel Louis on every inch of his body and never let go of him. Soon their tongues battled for dominance and Harry gladly gave in. Harry felt incredibly out of breath but he had never felt such a happiness in his life. Out of the sudden, he felt something hard against upper thigh. When he realized that it was Louis, he let out a little moan that was caught in Louis mouth. Immediately, Louis, who had been pressing him against the door frame, let go of him.

“Shit”, was all he said.

“Louis”, mumbled Harry, still feeling flushed.

“I’m sorry.”

“What, why? I wanted this”, reassured Harry, taking Louis’ face in his. Louis had a panicked expression on his face but he melted into Harry’s touch.

“I’m not gay”, said Louis, sounding as if he would cry any second.

“It’s okay, Louis. Calm down.”

Harry took him into a tight hug and he felt Louis sobbing against his shoulder.

“It’s okay. We’ll work it out.”

“You can’t tell anyone, okay? I tried to stay away from you, I really did. But I just can’t”, cried Louis against his shoulder and his heart broke for him.

“Whatever you need. I won’t force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with”, said Harry, stroking Louis hair.

“But Louis”, whispered Harry, “I don’t think that I can stay away from you anymore.”

“Neither can I.”

And so they just stood in Louis’ dorm room. Holding each other. Happy and sad at the same time.


	9. Home is wherever I'm with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, not much to say today, know that you matter though!   
> Pls leave kudos and comments, love u lots x

Harry had lost any sense of time, standing in Louis’ arms. They were still leaning against the door and Harry’s limbs began to ache.

“I should probably go”, whispered Harry.

Louis started holding on to him even tighter.

“Please don’t. You can stay.”

“Okay”, said Harry with a smile on his face. If someone had told him that, at the end of the night, he would have kissed Louis, let alone spend the night with him, he would have called the person mental.

“I don’t think that I am ready to, you know, do stuff”, mumbled Louis and Harry tried to catch his reddened cheeks with his palms.

“We don’t have to. As I said, we can do things your way, I won’t push you.”

Louis didn’t answer but planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. Harry’s heart melted away, he was so far gone.

They both took off their clothes, carefully paying attention to not stare. Which they failed miserably. But Harry had been serious, he really did want to give Louis all the time he needed. Plus, he didn’t have any experience with guys either. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself.

“You’re beautiful, has anyone ever told you?”, asked Louis, walking over to Harry.

They stood forehead to forehead and Harry was unable to answer, too overwhelmed with emotions.

“You are. You are breathtakingly beautiful, Harry. I knew it from the first moment I laid eyes on you when you ran against that fucking streetlamp.”

“You saw that? That’s so embarrassing!”, exclaimed Harry, wishing that the ground would swallow him.

“Yes, and I’ve been gone for you ever since”, chuckled Louis and kissed the tip of his nose.

Harry was aware that this wasn’t a love confession but it was enough for him at the moment. He was just happy to get anything, even if it was just a glimpse of Louis.

“To be honest, you were the reason I ran against the streetlamp in the first place. I was too caught up checking you out to pay attention to mundane things as streetlamps.”

“You’re a simp”, said Louis with a huge smile on his face.

“So are you”, replied Harry and kissed the tip of his nose again.

“Let’s go to bed.”

They made their way over to Louis’ bed and Harry’s heart was racing. Louis gestured for him to get into bed next to him and Harry happily complied. They were awkwardly lying next to each other with none of them moving in any way.

“So”, said Louis hesitantly which made Harry giggle uncontrollably.

“We’re horrible at this”, concluded Harry and Louis began to giggle as well.

“We really are.”

“Do you like, you know, cuddle?”, asked Harry shyly.

“I would love that.”

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s torso, making Harry the little spoon. Louis’ skin felt nice and warm against his and he imagined what the two of them currently looked like, cramped together in Louis’ tiny bed. He could feel Louis’ body every time he moved just the tiniest bit and he had never felt as happy as he did right in this moment.

“Are you comfortable?”, asked Louis, sounding a tiny bit out of breath.

“Yes, very much.”

For a while, Harry was too distracted to sleep. He was distracted by the feeling of having Louis lying so closely behind him, his breath in his neck and the sensation of Louis’ hair tickling his cheek. His mind kept wandering to the events of the evening and he had a dorky smile on his face every time he thought back to the way Louis had kissed him, pressing him against the wall. He was also afraid that if he went to sleep now, he would wake up in the morning, realizing that all of this had only been a dream. He wasn’t ready to let go of Louis just yet, he had only had him for a sweet second.

After a while, Harry felt his own breathing slow down and eventually he fell into a peaceful slumber with Louis’ arms still around him.

The next morning, Harry woke up to the feeling of a shifting body behind him. He struggled opening his eyes at first, telling himself yet again, that this had been his last time drinking alcohol. He was still too zoned out to realize what was going on around him but when he felt someone shift again, he rapidly opened his eyes. He spun around just in time to see Louis open his eyes as well. At first, Harry could see the panic in Louis’ eyes but then it vanished, replaced by a small, timid smile.

“Morning”, said Louis in a raspy voice and Harry was sure that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

“Good morning.”

They both kept smiling at each other for a second and Harry had to try his hardest not to look like a total dork. He was so far gone.

“Right, I should probably leave”, said Harry, already trying to get out of Louis’ grip.

“Don’t be stupid, you hungry?”, asked Louis and Harry’s heart did a little jump.

“I happen to be an expert when it comes to pancakes”, grinned Harry and Louis’ eyes started sparkling.

They got up, both still only in their boxers. Harry felt Louis’ eyes wandering over his body and he immediately felt as if the room had gotten a few degrees hotter. He allowed himself to let his own eyes wander over Louis’ body as well and what he saw took his breath away. He didn’t have much experience when it came to seeing attractive boys in their underwear but he was sure that Louis had to be the most beautiful creature on earth. His skin was tanned and smooth and his muscles defined, yet he had curves at all the right places. Harry saw that Louis had begun squirming under his gaze, obviously feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“I’m not too comfortable with my body, to be honest”, admitted Louis shyly and Harry’s heart broke.

“You’re beautiful. I mean it”, said Harry in a sincere voice, making his way over to touch Louis’ shoulders. He let his hands wander down Louis’ arm and touched his toned stomach.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Louis stared at him with a mixture of curiosity, fear and Harry wasn’t sure but arousal.

“Can I kiss you again?”, asked Harry and Louis nodded rapidly.

Their kiss started off sweet and chaste, but it deepened quickly. Harry loved the sentiment of feeling Louis’ tongue against his and feeling his body against his own. He was sure that he would never get enough of kissing Louis, ever. They got lost in their kiss, Harry trying his best not to rush things. He didn’t want to scare Louis away.

Louis was the first one to break their kiss, “Breakfast?”

Harry noticed Louis’ tinted cheeks and dilated pupils, it made his blood rush faster through its veins, knowing that Louis was just affected by Harry as he was by him.

“Breakfast.”

It took another few seconds for them to actually break apart and to stop staring at each other’s lips.

Louis, who lived in one of the fancier dorms, had his own little kitchen in his room. Harry was glad that they didn’t have to leave their little bubble that was Louis’ room just yet. He was aware that it was only a matter of time until Louis would realize what had happened and panic again, but he didn’t care, he was masochistic like that. Eventual pain was the price you had to pay for love.

“Show me your pancake skills then, Styles”, chuckled Louis.

“What happened to “Curls”?”, asked Harry with a fake frown on his face.

“Didn’t know you were into nicknames, good to know”, grinned Louis, “what’s mine then?”

“You do look like a hedgehog in the morning, with your hair sticking out in all directions”, concluded Harry, already ducking away because Louis was trying to hit him with a pan.

“Not true!”

“It’s endearing really.”

Harry caught Louis’ arm, so he couldn’t hit him anymore and also because he just liked holding him.

They spent the morning making pancakes together, chatting away about trivial things. Harry noticed that their conversations, even though they flowed easily, avoided certain topics and he was fine with that. Louis would open up to him when he was ready. That’s what he kept telling himself.

When the sun went down outside, Harry decided to leave and get ready for the next day. He hadn’t finished any of his course work but it had been worth it. Every minute he spent with Louis was worth it. They stood at Louis’ door, staring at each other.

“Right, I’ll see you tomorrow at Contemporary English Literature, I suppose”, mumbled Louis.

“Yeah”, was the only thing that Harry got out.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you that I want to keep this a secret, I hope you know that”, said Louis, avoiding Harry’s eyes.

“Yeah, I know.” But deep down, he knew that this wasn’t true.


	10. Love you for a long time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for drama and I can't seem to give them a break buuuut even I get soft sometimes, so here's a chapter that actually doesn't take a bad turn, enjoy haha.  
> Btw, I'm still doing the "each chapter is called after a song thing", let me know your favourite songs, I'm always looking for inspo.  
> Pls leave kudos and comments, love u x

Harry still felt as if he was in some sort of haze when he woke up the next morning. Yesterday, after he had left Louis’, he had wandered around campus to clear his head but his thoughts kept coming back to how Louis had kissed him and how his skin had felt against his own. He was fucked. Harry was currently still wrapped in his sheets, trying to mentally prepare himself for seeing Louis again in their Contemporary English Literature course. Even thinking about sitting next to Louis made his skin tingle.

He put some extra effort into his looks today, trying his best to look good for Louis. He pushed the fear of Louis not showing up today to the back of his head, telling himself that Louis would not freak out and not leave him hanging. He had trust in him. Louis was stronger than he knew.

He tried to give his curls some extra bounce and put on his favorite outfit. It somehow helped him calm his own nerves down.

As he walked to his CEP course, he felt as if everyone knew that something big had happened in Harry’s life. Didn’t people always say that a person in love had this special glow? He was pretty sure that he was fucking glowing at the moment.

When he walked into the lecture hall, he scanned the seats for Louis but he couldn’t locate him. Harry started panicking. Shit shit shit. An immediate sadness washed over him and Harry was contemplating whether he should just go home and back to bed when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey stranger”, said Louis with a tiny smile and the sudden sadness was blown away.

“You came”, concluded Harry.

“Of course, dummy. Why wouldn’t I? Come on, let’s find a seat”, Louis chose seats in the back and tapped the one next to him.

“Sit.”

Harry complied without a second thought. At this point, there was basically nothing that he wouldn’t do if Louis asked him to. Whipped.

He did his best to concentrate on the lesson which, by the way, was one of his favorite ones, but he his gaze kept wandering to Louis’ thighs that were awfully close to his. They were rather distracting to be fair, strong and toned from all the footie Louis played. Once or twice, he also caught himself staring at Louis’ side profile. That attractive little bastard. By now, Louis had noticed that Harry was shamelessly checking him out in the middle of class. He saw a small smirk forming on Louis’ lips, which yet again, distracted Harry from listening to Mrs. Bones.

It was almost unnoticeable, but Harry felt Louis shift his thighs closer to his, the two of them now sitting flushed against each other. Out of the sudden, Harry felt incredibly warm in the usually chilly lecture hall. But he also felt brave. He brushed over Louis thigh with the tips of his fingers, just to put them back on his own lap. He felt Louis slightly gasp next to him, but he didn’t look at him or say anything. Just when Harry had finally decided that he should probably focus on his class if he wanted to pass anything this year, he felt Louis’ hand on his thigh. But he wasn’t just brushing over it with his fingertips, he had a firm grip on his thigh and even though Louis’ hand was beyond smol, Harry felt sudden dominance radiate from Louis.

“Two can play this game, Curls”, smirked Louis, wandering his hand slightly up Harry’s thigh.

Harry didn’t reply, all he was able to do was let out a low groan.

Louis kept stroking his thigh, wandering dangerously close to his crotch.

“Stop it, Lou”, groaned Harry.

“Or what?”, said Louis next to him and he could hear the smirk in his voice.

He looked over to Louis to see that his pupils were dilated, Louis had been right, two could play this game.

He took Louis’ hand away from his thigh and placed his own on Louis’. This time he didn’t just slightly brush over Louis’ thigh, he started at his knee and wandered up with slow movements. When he was just above Louis’ crotch, he gave his thigh another squeeze and moved away his hand. He could hear that Louis’ breathing had picked up and he wasn’t the only one. Touching Louis did things to him.

“Bathroom, now”, exhaled Louis and Harry pulled his face around to look at Louis reddened face.

“Mrs. Bones, I feel incredibly sick, can I go to the bathroom?”, asked Louis and Harry had to admit that he was an excellent actor.

“Honey, sure, take Harry with you, okay?”, said Mrs. Bones. If she only knew.

“Thank you.”

Louis almost sprinted down the rows and was out of the lecture hall before anyone could comprehend what was going on. Harry struggled keeping up with him but caught up to him just in front of the bathroom.

Harry was just about to ask Louis what was going on when Louis took him by the collar and pushed him into the deserted bathroom.

“You’re playing with fire, Styles”, whispered Louis in his ear and it went straight down to Harry’s dick.

Louis shoved his tongue down his throat, pushing him against one of the stalls. Harry felt as if he had died and had woken up in heaven, or hell, depends on how one might put it.

“Jesus, you’re so hot”, mumbled Louis. His hands were all over Harry’s body and he could feel that Louis’ dick was just as hard as his own. Harry wasn’t thinking straight anymore, his mind to clouded by Louis Louis Louis. He rolled his hips into Louis’ to finally get some friction. When he did, both of them started to moan, none of them caring anymore whether they were too loud or not.

“Fuck”, groaned Louis, looking for more friction.

“Touch me”, whispered Harry and he felt Louis’ hand move downwards when out of the sudden, there were noises outside the door.

“Fuck”, said Louis again but this time it wasn’t a strangled moan but a hectic exclaim.

Louis immediately jumped to the side, just in time to two guys coming into the bathroom. They didn’t really care for Louis and Harry who were standing next to the stalls.

“We should probably go”, whispered Louis.

They made their way of the bathroom, both still panting but with a happy grin on their faces.

“Alright”, said Louis.

“Alright”, replied Harry.

Since Harry had Literature of the 18th Century next and Louis didn’t share this class with him, the two had to part ways. Harry kept his gaze on Louis until he had disappeared around the next corner. He didn’t know what would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted and he was more than keen to find out at some point. He spent the remainder of his class thinking about Louis and his strong back and arms. He had to tell himself to keep it together multiple times, he was too old to get hard in school. Even though, Louis made him feel like a horny teenager.

Harry knew that he would be seeing Louis again in the cafeteria for lunch and when his professor ended the class, he basically sprinted down the halls. When he arrived, he saw that the two spots next to Louis were already taken by people, who in his opinion, didn’t deserve to sit next to Louis. He took the only free spot, one at the opposite end of the table to Louis.

“Hey mate, you good? You look like you had a rough morning”, chuckled Niall. Fuck this, Harry hadn’t even looked in the mirror, he didn’t even wanna know how he looked at the moment.

“Did you get jumped in the bathroom?”, laughed Zayn and the only ones who didn’t laugh along were Louis and him.

“Leave him alone”, smirked Louis.

They all still had smug grins on their faces but the conversation wandered to a topic, not involving Harry having sex in a bathroom. Thank god.

When he was sure that everyone had forgotten about it, he risked looking over to Louis. Louis was already watching him, subtle but Harry could see from his spot across the table that Louis was biting his lips and that his pupils were dilated. Harry tried to turn his gaze away but he failed miserably. Louis was like the sun, he knew that he shouldn’t stare at him for too long, but he couldn’t stop. He was mesmerized. He felt his cheeks up, Louis’ intense looks made him think about what had happened in the bathroom and Harry wished that Louis would just take his hand and lead him to the next bathroom. Finishing what they had started.

Harry felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Louis: I wish I could touch you

Harry’s heartbeat picked up. He looked up just in time to see that Louis was sending him a subtle but smug smile. Harry was too turned on to think straight, he vaguely remembered that he wanted to give Louis space and time but he couldn’t give a fuck about that at the moment, especially when Louis provoked him like that.

To Louis: Like where?

Harry watched Louis opening the message, he saw that his cheeks turned pink and the he gasped slightly.

Louis: If you’ll come over later, I’ll show you

Harry almost choked on his own spit when he read Louis’ message. Was Louis implying what he thought he did? Harry looked up to search for an answer in Louis’ eyes. Louis didn’t look at him though, he was currently packing his things, ready to go to his next lecture.

“I’m off mates, I’ll see you around”, said Louis, intendedly looking at Harry.

Harry was sure that he had gone to heaven.


	11. Two hearts in one home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -SMUT-  
> lmao writing this made me once again realize how single I am, sad girl hours haha.   
> How are you guys? Are your countries planning a second lockdown as well? Apparently we're starting one next week in Germany. Stay safe x  
> Pls leave comments and kudos hehe x

Harry wasn’t able to concentrate another second of the day. He did try. He really tried to focus on his classes but every time he wanted to take notes or listen to the teacher, his mind kept wandering back to Louis’ hands on his body. He had been on a total high for the better part of the day, with it being partially anxiety but he would take it. He wasn’t sure what would happen at Louis’ later but he wasn’t particularly picky, he would take whatever Louis would give him.

Harry was currently wandering around in his own dorm room. Louis hadn’t given him a specific time and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to calm down enough to actually get anything done. He had considered calling Niall, just to pass some time, but he wasn’t even sure if he could keep his mouth shut. He was just too excited.

Around 6 PM, he decided that he couldn’t wait another minute and left for Louis’. He had freshened up a little bit but had tried to keep it simple, he wasn’t even sure what people did in preparation of..whatever that was.

He knocked on Louis’ door and took a step back to anxiously stare at his feet. The door opened and Louis’ face peeked out.

“Harry”, he simply said. His eyes sparkled and Harry’s breath immediately picked up. He was breathtaking.

“Are you just gonna stand there?”, chuckled Louis and pulled him in by his sleeve.

“Welcome back to my humble castle.”

Harry still wasn’t able to former proper sentences. He wasn’t looking directly at Louis either. He looked around the room as if the 10 square meters had changed since he had last been here.

“Sooo”, said Louis, dragging out the “o”. He wasn’t looking at Harry directly either, looking out of the window. There wasn’t even anything to look at apart from bricks and trees.

“So.”

“How was the rest of your day?”, asked Louis, seemingly very interested in the tree outside.

“Fuck this”, mumbled Harry and pulled him in by the collar.

Louis let out a small gasp before Harry’s lips crashed down on his.

“Thank fuck, I couldn’t have gone one more second without kissing you”, said Louis between planting kisses on Harry’s lips, his whole face really.

They kept kissing, their lips fighting for dominance. Harry felt alive. They stumbled back towards Louis’ bed and soon, Harry felt the bed frame against his calves. He let himself fall on the bed and Louis fell on top of him. Having Louis’ weight on him, being buried under him, turned him on beyond belief.

“Louis”, he whispered, without even knowing what he wanted to say.

He felt Louis’ hands reaching for the hem of his shirt and he wiggled free, so Louis could pull it over his head. Louis took off his own shirt as well and they both took a second to admire each other. Harry was mesmerized by Louis. His skin was glowing, radiating some of that shining energy that Louis gave off at all time. He truly was the sun. He traced the lines of Louis’ abs with his fingers and he could feel Louis shiver under him. He remembered that Louis was insecure about his body, for god knows what reason.

“You’re so beautiful”, said Harry and he really meant it. He had never meant anything more in his life.

Louis didn’t answer him but he saw that his facial expression relaxed. Louis copied his movements and traced Harry’s upper body with his fingers.

“So are you.”

Once they had explored each other’s upper bodies, Harry crashed his lips back down on Louis’, wanting to feel him again. Harry hadn’t had many kisses in his life, but he was sure that even though he lacked comparison, this was the best thing anyone had ever experienced. Louis’ lips were smooth but firm and the way he varied the pressure that he put on Harry’s lips, made his head dizzy.

Harry was getting impatient, his cock was hard and he was overwhelmed with a million emotions. He took Louis’ zipper between two of his fingers and slid it down. He could hear and sense that Louis was holding his breath even though his heart was still rapidly beating. Harry gently pulled down first his pants and then his boxer shorts. He let his hands slide over Louis’ thighs for a moment, they truly were one of his favorite things in the world. Louis’ dick was maybe even harder than Harry’s and he was leaking precum. Harry tried his best to stay calm and collected.

“Can I touch you?”, he whispered.

He saw that Louis was contemplating his words in his head for a second but then he gave a small nod. Harry was aware that Louis was probably scared, probably unsure what he wanted and what that meant and he realized that he had to go slow, show Louis that this meant more to him than just the act itself.

“Thank you.”

He kissed down Louis’ chest, sucking at his skin and leaving tiny pecks. Louis’ skin was hot under his and he could taste that Louis was sweating a little bit. Harry found it incredibly hot. His hands caressed up and down Louis’ body and he could feel that he was squirming under him, waiting to be touched. When his kisses had reached Louis’ crotch, he took a moment to look up into Louis’ eyes. He wanted to make sure that they were still on the same page. Louis looked as if he could barely contain himself anymore but he gave a little nod once again.

Harry started by giving a little peck to the tip of Louis’ cock which twitched in excitement. Louis let out a low moan and Harry felt his own dick twitch in agreement.

“Harry”, moaned Louis and Harry just hummed in agreement.

He licked a long stripe up Louis’ dick and could feel the veins against his tongues. Louis let out another moan, this time it sounded strangled, as if Louis could barely breath.

He felt Louis’ hands in his hair, tugging hard. He moaned against Louis’ dick, liking the sensation of Louis pulling his hair harshly.

“You like that, don’t you?”, mumbled Louis and tugged his hair once again.

Harry moaned again, momentarily forgetting what he was currently doing.

“Yes”, he said shyly, looking up in Louis’ eyes that were lust blown.

“Harry, please”, begged Louis. It took Harry a second but then he understood what Louis was asking for.

This time he slowly took him all the way in.

“Shit”, exclaimed Louis breathlessly.

“Shit shit shit.”

He bopped his head up and down while looking into Louis’ eyes. Louis squirmed under him, having an almost stressed look on his face.

“Fuck”, he continued moaning. He still had his hands in Harry’s curls, tugging them harshly. He rolled his hips up to meet Harry’s mouth.

“You fucking angel”, he forced out. Harry beamed under Louis’ attention, feeling himself getting closer and closer to his own orgasm just from the sensation of having Louis in his mouth.

“I’m gonna cum”, Louis moaned and tugged Harry’s hair harder.

Harry hummed in approval and that was what sent Louis over the edge. Harry swallowed everything down and helped Louis come down from his high.

Louis was lying half on the bed, half on the floor. His forehead was sweaty and he still had his eyes shut.

“Harry, that was insane”, said Louis, now looking into Harry’s eyes with an expression that made Harry’s heart melt.

He laid down next to Louis, taking his hand in his own.

They stared at the ceiling for a while, none of them saying a word. Harry could hear Louis’ breath that still went faster as usually. He felt Louis’ index finger tracing patterns on the back of his hand and he felt at complete ease with life. He was happy.

“I’m really, really happy”, he said and looked at Louis’ side profile. Louis broke out into a big smile and looked at him as well.

“So am I.”

“Tell me something about yourself, yeah?”, asked Louis and snuggled into Harry’s left shoulder.

“Okay, so I got a sister, her name is Gemma. She can be a pain in the ass but I really love her. To be honest, you remind me of her. She’s sassy as well”, said Harry and Louis pinched him in the shoulder. “Hey!”

“I mean it in the best way possible”, said Harry soothingly and kissed Louis’ forehead.

“She lives and works up in Scotland, she’s co-founder of a fashion brand. I think she’s secretly sleeping with the CEO, but we’re all not allowed to ask”, chuckled Harry and Louis laughed along.

“Sounds like East Enders, if you ask me.”

“You shouldn’t tell her that, she sees herself as a serious businesswoman, you must know”, explained Harry.

“Then there’s my mum, she’s still back home in Cheshire. I don’t know why she still holds on to that place, I only associate bad memories with it.”

“Why?”, asked Louis and his interest sounded sincere.

“I don’t know, I just never felt like I belonged there. People didn’t give me a hard time or anything, but I never felt understood or let alone loved. You get lonely after a while, you know”, he whispered.

“I understand that.”

They both stayed silent for a moment.

“You do belong now, you know”, said Louis, avoiding Harry’s look.

Harry was silently studying Louis’ side profile for a second and let the words sink in.

“I know, thank you”, he said and kissed Louis’ forehead once more.

They stayed silent after that, but in a comfortable way. Usually, Harry found comfortable silence overrated, but being silent with Louis felt genuine, it felt right.

Their silence was interrupted when Louis’ phone rang. He took one look at the phone and his face took on a stressed expression.

“Fuck fuck fuck.”

“What is it?”, asked Harry but Louis was avoiding his look.

He answered the phone and gestured for Harry to be silent.

“Hey El”, he said and gave Harry and apologetic look.

Harry’s heart broke. He didn’t know what he had expected but now the reality came crushing right back.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry. I’ve been, you know, busy and stuff. I’ll be there in 10 minutes”, mumbled Louis and Harry’s heart broke some more.

Louis hung up the phone and tried to catch Harry’s eyes. Harry, who was already putting back on his clothes, stared right at the wall.

“Harry”, Louis tried but Harry cut him off.

“I’m leaving”, he only said and Louis’ expression turned into a panicked one.

“Harry, please.”

“No, you’re in a relationship. This is not okay. You don’t even know whether you’re straight, gay, bi or god knows what, for fuck’s sake.”

Harry pulled his pants up in an angry motion and already had one of his shoes on.

“I’m sorry”, mumbled Louis and Harry had to physically force himself to leave and not to comfort Louis.

“I’ll see you, Louis.”

And with that, he was out of the door.

He walked around the corner, where he slid down the wall and started crying.


	12. Players only love you when they're playing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for 1000 reads, that's so exciting! I'm glad that you are enjoying it xo  
> Pls leave kudos and let me know what you think in the comments.   
> Lots of love!

Harry was still sitting in the middle of the corridor, crying his eyes out. He was too upset to actually care about what people might think of him. He noticed people walking by but he didn’t even look up. He couldn’t be arsed. He had known that Louis had a girlfriend, that Louis wasn’t his and until now it had hurt, obviously, but he had dealt with it. But this time was different, he wasn’t just a little hurt.

His heart was broken.

Things were different now, they had shared such an intimate moment, things had changed. At least for Harry. He didn’t know how Louis rolled, maybe hooking up wasn’t a big deal for him. But for Harry it was. He had opened himself up to someone in such a vulnerable way and they had let him down. It stung like a bitch.

He didn’t know how much longer he sat in the exact same spot but after a while he had calmed down enough to actually take in his surroundings. He was still sat in the corridor next to Louis’. Thank god, Louis hadn’t passed through here. He didn’t want Louis to see how much he had really hurt him.

“Harry? Is that you?”, asked a concerned voice.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

“Niall, what are you doing here?”, asked Harry, discreetly trying to dry his tears with the sleeve of his woolen sweater.

“I’ve been at Jade’s. You know, Jade Thirlwall, the girl from my Composition class. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now.”

“What? Really? How did I not know that?”, asked Harry.

“You’ve been quite busy, haven’t you?”, asked Niall but Harry could sense the sadness in his voice.

He felt shitty. He had been a shitty friend. And for what? He had spent all of his time and energy obsessing over a “straight” guy that used him to get off. He had neglected Niall to the point where he hadn’t even noticed that Niall was dating someone. He decided then and there that he would try harder.

“That’s amazing. Do you wanna grab a coffee? You can tell me a wee bit about your girl”, said Harry and he even tried to force out a genuine smile.

“Sure!”

They chatted about uni and their course work all the way to Labels and Harry realized how much he had missed hanging out with a friend. Life didn’t have to be that complicated. He just had a kink for drama, it seemed.

They ordered two black coffees and took a spot in the back of the café.

“So, tell me about your girl”, demanded Harry and Niall grinned like a mad man.

“She’s amazing. As I said, she’s in my Composition class and she’s incredibly talented, beautiful voice too. I was too scared to ask her out for a while because she’s always hanging out with her girls. They are hella intimidating, they don’t take shit from anyone, you know. But it turned out that they’re actually really sweet and they were all very supportive of me asking Jade out. Apparently, she had thought about asking me out herself”, said Niall and stopped to take a sip from his coffee.

“We met up in here and just talked for hours and hours, about the most random stuff. Turns out, we have a lot in common. Before we knew it, they closed the café. Shit man, I’m really gone already, aren’t I?”, chuckled Niall and Harry had no choice but to laugh with him.

He had never seen Niall so smitten and it was heartwarming. Harry also felt some sort of jealousy, he would love to go on a date with Louis and just talk for hours. He felt like he still didn’t know much about Louis. And going on a public date wasn’t really possible either.

“That’s amazing, Niall. I’m so happy for you”, said Harry, trying his best to sound genuine and not bitter.

“Thanks man, I’m glad we’re hanging out today. I missed you”, chimed Niall.

Harry didn’t know what came over him but out of the sudden he started crying again. And he wasn’t crying silently, he was full on sobbing. The events of the morning and feeling so loved by Niall released something in him that wanted out.

“Hey hey hey Harry, what’s wrong?”, asked Niall and put his hand on his shoulder.

Harry couldn’t help it and let himself fall into Niall’s arms like a potato sack. He was sure that the two of them were quite the sight but he couldn’t give a fuck. Niall reacted immediately and took him into a tight embrace.

“Let it out”, said Niall and patted his back. He had never been more grateful for anyone than he was right now for Niall. Harry didn’t answer him, he just kept crying into Niall’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure how long they had been sitting there but Harry felt himself calm down after a while.

He tried to dry his face with his sweater again and Niall handed him a napkin.

“Here, take this.”

“Thanks”, said Harry with a croaky voice.

“That’s alright. Are you feeling better?”, asked Niall carefully.

Harry nodded. He still wasn’t trusting his voice.

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to though. But if you want to, you can”, rambled Niall and Harry actually chuckled a little bit.

“I’m sort of not supposed to talk about it”, said Harry and realized how incredibly stupid that sounded. He wasn’t in 6th grade anymore.

“I see. You can give me some details though, sort of. You know? You don’t have to mention who’s involved.”

Harry contemplated for a second. That actually didn’t seem too bad of an idea. Niall would never guess that the person he was talking about, was in fact Louis. Why would he? Louis was in a relationship, with a girl.

“Alright. So, there’s this guy. I kind of had a crush on him since coming here. At first, I thought that he was giving off vibes but then I was convinced that he wasn’t even into, you know, men. But then, out of the sudden, we hooked up. And it was lifechanging really. At least I thought so. But he’s sort of not available. And yeah, I think I’m pretty fucked”, concluded Harry.

He had rushed through his explanation without looking at Niall. He was sure that, by now, his face was the color of a tomato.

“Right”, was the only thing Niall said.

They were silent for a second and Harry could sense that Niall needed time to think about the things that Harry had just told him.

“Did you know that he was unavailable?”, asked Niall.

“Yes.”

He couldn’t lie about it. He wasn’t proud of being a cheater but it had happened and lying about it would have been a coward thing to do.

“That’s bad. Harry, that’s really bad. You cheated on someone. Does his boyfriend know?”, asked Niall and Harry’s heart sank into his chest.

Niall obviously thought that the person him and Louis had cheated on, was a man. It made sense.

“I don’t know. I guess not? God Niall, I don’t know what to do”, sighed Harry.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”, asked Niall and his expression softened.

Harry didn’t answer. He looked outside the window as if the answer was floating around there somewhere.

He slowly nodded.

“I am.”

“Well fuck”, said Niall.

Yup. Fuck.

“When I’m around him, I just forget everything that is bad. But then afterwards, when I have left the bubble, I realize what I did and just, I don’t know, break down”, sighed Harry.

“Yup. Definitely in love.”

Harry just stared at his mug for a moment. He could see that Niall was looking at him from the side, probably examining his emotions or some shit.

“You need to tell him.”

“Tell him what?”, asked Harry.

“Tell him that you’re in love with him”, said Niall.

“Nope. Can’t do. It’s more complicated than that. It’s not just the gir..”, said Harry and immediately realized his mistake. He started to cough, trying to cover up his slip up.

“Boyfriend.”

“There’s more?”, asked Niall.

“Isn’t there always?”, sighed Harry out.

He was incredibly grateful that Niall wasn’t trying push for more details or to admit who it was. He was aware that Niall had to at least wonder who it was, since they knew the same people. But Niall was a good friend, he was there for him without forcing too much out of him.

Nevertheless, he was over this conversation. He just had to get a good night’s sleep and stay away from Louis for a while. He needed to clear his head.

“Niall? I think I’m gonna go home for a few days. Visit my mum”, said Harry.

“In Holmes Chapel? Sweet! Do you want me to come with you?”, asked Niall and smiled at him.

“You know what, that would actually be quite cool.”

“Sweet, then let’s go and pack some stuff!”


	13. When we were 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, so sorry for the late upload, I've started my masters and it's stressing me out big time.  
> Hope you enjoy!   
> pls leave kudos and comments (:

“Harry, darling! It’s so good to have you back”, said Anne while hugging Harry tightly.

“Mum..”, sighed Harry.

He wasn’t usually someone who was embarrassed by his mum being affectionate but with Niall being there, he felt a wee bit uncomfortable.

“Oh, come on, Harry. It’s cute!”, chimed Niall and chuckled.

“I already like your friend, Harry. Hello, I’m Anne”, said Harry’s mum and pulled Niall into a hug.

Niall looked as if Christmas had come early.

“Lovely to meet you. I’m Niall.”

Harry already knew that the two of them would get on just fine. They shared a lot of character traits that Harry loved. Which was probably why he had got on with Niall from the get-go. Anne and Niall were compassionate, caring and light-hearted people. And weren’t those the best kinds of people?

“Come on in boys, I made cake”, said Anne and Niall’s eyes got big.

“Did she say cake?”, whispered Niall in Harry’s ear.

Harry just chuckled and followed his mum into the house.

The house still looked exactly like it did when he had left. He loved his childhood home. Apart from the memories it held, it always felt like a big, warm hug. A bit like being with his mum felt like.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table and Harry felt completely content. Almost. Thoughts of Louis were still haunting him every now and then. But he tried to push them to the back of his head.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”, asked Anne.

“You know, I just wanted to see you and Gem”, said Harry but he knew that he had never been able to keep anything from his mum. She was a witch when it came to sensing his emotions. Like all mothers were.

“Now the truth, please.”

Niall looked down on his plate, probably feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Having boy trouble?”, asked Anne with an understanding look on her face.

“Maybe”, mumbled Harry, avoiding her gaze.

“Oh well, then I’m glad that you came here. I’ll feed you guys cake until you’re happy and careless again, munchkin. That’s what a mum is for.”

Harry was glad that she didn’t want to go into more detail. She knew that it wasn’t his favorite thing to do to talk about his emotions.

“Thanks, mum.”

They spent most of the afternoon chatting and Harry had been right, his mum was already smitten with Niall.

“And what’s your plan for after graduation then, Niall?”, asked Anne and Harry’s heart did a little jump by her serious interest. He really did love her with all his heart.

“I would love to go into either song writing or music production. Maybe both. I’m aware that it’s quite hard to get your foot in the door but I did a couple of internships already. It’s all about the connections, you know?”

Harry was fairly impressed. Niall always seemed so carefree and apparently there was way more depth to Niall than one would assume. He promised himself that he would never underestimate Niall again.

“Do you hear that, Harry? Such ambition”, said Anne with a little wink towards Harry.

Harry knew that she wasn’t too serious. She always supported him no matter what and he was incredibly grateful for that.

“Hey sucker”, shouted someone and when Harry turned around, he saw Gemma running towards him.

“Gem!”

She jumped into his arms and Harry caught her without any hesitation.

“I never thought that I would say that one day but I missed you so much”, said Harry and he felt tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey, no need to get emotional, I missed you too”, said Gemma and stroked his hair.

Harry didn’t answer her and just kept burying his head in the crock of her neck.

“Are you okay?”, whispered Gemma in his ear and he could hear the concern in her voice.

“I don’t know, Gemma”, answered Harry truthfully.

“Mind helping me unpack?”

Harry knew that she didn’t actually need help unpacking, she just wanted to know who had hurt her little brother and probably skin them alive.

“Sure.”

“We’ll be back”, said Gemma and dragged Harry along into her room.

Gemma’s room was a mess, as always, but it also reminded Harry of home.

“Spill”, she simply said and Harry gulped.

“There’s this guy”, mumbled Harry.

“That much I figured, go on.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

Gemma sighed.

“I see. Has anything happened between you two?”

“Yeah, we hooked up and I know it’s a cheesy thing to say after like two weeks but I think I’m in love with him”, said Harry and looked out the window. He didn’t want to see Gemma’s disappointment.

She didn’t answer him for a few seconds and Harry already got concerned that she was mad at him for being a cheater.

“I see”, she repeated and then pulled him back into a bone crushing hug.

“It’s gonna be okay”, she whispered and Harry relaxed into the hug.

“You can’t help how you feel about someone, even if you try.”

“I really, really like him Gemma”, said Harry and started crying into her shoulder.

“I know, darling. I know.”

They stood there for a while and then actually started to unpack Gemma’s bag. They talked about Gemma’s work and Harry’s courses and Harry felt himself calm down eventually.

After a while, the two of them went downstairs as it was time for dinner. Anne and Niall were already cooking in the kitchen, laughing about something Niall had said.

Dinner was a delight with Niall telling jokes and Gemma cracking up at every single one of them. Harry mostly just listened to what the other three were talking about, feeling happy to be home.

Out of the sudden, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

What the hell?

Why was Louis calling him?

Harry excused himself from the table by saying that one of his classmates from French Literature was calling him.

Harry picked up the phone without saying anything. He could hear Louis breathe at the other end.

“Harry?”, asked Louis and Harry could hear that he was drunk.

“What do you want?”, asked Harry in a harsh tone.

“Where are you? I’m in front of your door but you’re not there. Where are you?”

“I’m at my mum’s. With Niall”, said Harry.

“What? You’re gone? Why? Why did you take Niall? I would’ve come with you”, said Louis and Harry could basically see his sad expression.

Harry had to take a couple of breaths before he answered.

“Louis, what do you want? Why aren’t you with your girlfriend?”

“I don’t love her”, said Louis and hickuped.

Harry knew where he wanted to go with this but he needed to hear him say it.

“Who don’t you love, Louis?”

“Eleanor. I’m not in love with her. I’m in love with somebody else”, sighed Louis.

Harry felt his heart beat rapidly against his chest.

“Who are you in love with then?”

“I can’t tell you that”, sighed Louis again.

“Why?”

Louis didn’t answer him. All Harry could hear was his breathing and some silent sniffs.

“Can you come back? Please?”

This time it was on Harry not to answer him immediately.

“I need you here”, said Louis and he sounded so broken that Harry actually felt his pain.

“I will be back.”

“And I will be here. Waiting for you.”

And with that, Louis hung up the phone.


	14. Too long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say today, enjoy :)   
> Pls leave kudos and comments x

Harry hadn’t heard back from Louis after their phone call. And he was getting more and more anxious. The last few days at his mom’s had been a nightmare. He, for the love of god, had not been able to hide his anxiety but he hadn’t been willing to explain on the matter. This had made Anne, and surprisingly Niall as well, quite angry. But who could blame them? Whenever they asked Harry a simple question, he had been either spaced out or had answered with a snappy remark. Way to be a good son and friend.

They had decided to leave early Sunday morning, so they both would get some time to prepare for their courses on Monday. Harry was in the middle of packing his bag when Gemma came barging into the room.

“Excuse me, young Niall, I’ll have to steal my dearest brother for a second”, she chimed and pulled Harry away by his sleeve.

She dragged him into her room and closed the door to make sure that their mom and Niall couldn’t hear their conversation.

“So, what’s the plan?”, she asked and Harry tried his best to play dumb.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

She smacked him across the head.

Classic Gemma.

“Ouch, that hurt”, exclaimed Harry, looking a bit like a puppy.

“First of all, it didn’t and second of all, don’t play dumb.”

“Fine, if you must know, he has called me. But I haven’t heard from him since. He said that he would wait for me but I’m pretty sure that he was drunk”, exhaled Harry and let himself fall onto Gemma’s bed.

Boys were exhausting.

“You know what they say, Haz. Drunk talk is real talk. Or something like that”, said Gemma.

Harry let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t think that this is the point, Gem. Even if it is true what he has said, it matters what he says when he’s sober”, sighed Harry.

“You’re too wise for your own good, little brother”, said Gemma and pulled him into another hug.

“Now go and finish packing. The sooner you get back to university, the sooner you can solve your boy trouble.”

They finished packing and all of their bags were already in Harry’s car.

“Thanks for everything, mum”, said Harry and kissed Anne goodbye.

“You’re welcome. And honey? I hope that you can solve whatever your problem is”, sighed Anne and gave him another quick hug.

Harry just nodded and sat into the car. He watched as Anne pulled Niall into a bone crushing hug. It looked as if they were both on the verge of tears.

The drive was pleasantly calm. Niall was asleep most of the time and the weather outside was gorgeous. Harry felt the warm sun on his skin while he whistled to some Stevie Nicks song. It was basically the calm before the storm.

They arrived on campus a while later and Niall thanked Harry profoundly for everything and made him promise that he would take him again soon. He suspected that Niall had a crush on his mother.

After Niall had left for his own dorm, Harry made his way to his room to rest for a while. Driving was exhausting.

When he opened the door to his room, he noticed something on the floor. When he picked it up, he saw that it was a postcard. The front showed the 2019 team of the Doncaster Rover’s.

Harry’s heart missed a beat.

He quickly turned the card around. Only one sentence had been scribbled onto the back of the card in a messy handwriting.

Harry, meet me in my room as soon as you’re back.

-L

Harry had to read the sentence again, just to make sure that he had taken in the words correctly. Louis wanted to see him. In his room.

Harry had quickly forgotten about wanting to rest. He threw his bag in the corner of the room carelessly and put his jacket back on. He basically ran all the way to Louis’ dorm and arrived completely out of breath.

He put his head into his hands for a second to gather his thoughts and calm his nerves and breath.

What if Louis wanted to tell him that they had to stop their little “thing”? What if he wanted to tell him that he would never leave Eleanor? And that Harry had only been an experiment?

While Harry continued to imagine all the horrible things Louis could say to him, the door to Louis’ room opened. Louis’ head peaked out of the door and before Harry knew it, Louis was pulling him into the room.

Louis pulled him into a hug that made Harry forget his own name.

“I’ve missed you so much”, exhaled Louis.

“Louis”, exhaled Harry simply.

They stood there for a second, or maybe even a little while. Harry had lost of track, being in Louis’ arms.

Then Louis pulled back his head to look Harry deep in the eyes.

“I almost forgot how beautiful you are”, he whispered and with that he closed the distance between them.

This kiss wasn’t heated. This wasn’t a kiss that was meant to lead somewhere. This was just two people wanting to be close each other, wanting to tell each other so many words without actually having the courage to say them.

They kissed until Harry was sure that he was seeing stars. Louis did that too him. He made him feel like he was in heaven.

“Thank you”, whispered Louis.

“For what?”, asked Harry.

“For coming back to me.”

Louis’ blue eyes sparkled up to him and Harry had to just stare at him for a second, take him in, memorize every inch of his face. He was beautiful.

“I would always come back to you.”

And as he was saying it, he realized that it was true. Harry realized that he would do anything for Louis, go anywhere, be anyone. He didn’t care whether or not Louis would leave Eleanor, whether or not Louis would come out. He just wanted Louis. He needed Louis.

“I haven’t left my room in three days. I was always too scared that you would come back and that I would miss you”, said Louis.

“I would’ve found you”, reassured Harry and Louis lit up.

“We probably need to talk”, said Louis.

The thing was, Harry didn’t want to talk. He wanted to stay in his little bubble. He wanted to pretend that they were carefree and happy for as long as possible.

“Or we could do this”, said Harry and kissed Louis again.

But this time, he wanted it to lead somewhere.

He had been thinking about it for a while. Basically, ever since he had laid eyes on Louis on the football field.

He wanted to know what his skin felt like against his.

He wanted to feel Louis’ strong muscles while he touched him in places where no one had ever touched him.

He wanted to go all the way.

Louis eagerly kissed him back, pushing him backwards. Solely the feeling of Louis’ tongue against his, made Harry moan lowly.

“I want you”, whispered Harry and Louis proceeded to kiss him even more eagerly.

Their tongues battled for dominance as Harry tried to push up Louis’ navy-blue shirt. Louis broke their kiss just to pull it over his head. A second later, he did the same thing with Harry’s jacket and shirt. Harry shivered at the contact of skin on skin and he could feel the goosebumps on Louis’ body as well.

This time, they didn’t waste any time looking at each other, taking each other in. They both knew what they wanted and they wanted it fast.

“What am I supposed to do?”, mumbled Louis. His pupils were dilated and his lips red-bitten.

“Just do what feels right”, answered Harry.

Louis considered what he had said for a second and then kissed him again.

The kiss knocked all air out of Harry, leaving him a weak mess. Already. And they hadn’t even started yet.

Harry felt Louis’ hands at the rim of his jeans, unzipping them. Harry helped undressing himself by wiggling out of his tight skinny jeans and throwing them away. He heard Louis unzip his own pants and felt him move out of them.

Louis then pinned him against the door so that their naked thighs could touch. Harry felt Louis’ hard erection against his thigh and he, involuntarily, let out a deep moan.

“Touch me. Please”, demanded Harry breathlessly.

Louis complied and he felt his hands wander down his body until they stopped and rested on his lower back for a second. He slid his fingers into Harry’s boxer shorts and pulled them down.

Harry’s erection hit his stomach and even that little amount of friction made Harry moan.

“Jesus, Haz”, mumbled Louis, taking Harry into his hand.

Harry felt his insides light up at Louis’ touch. He needed more. Immediately.

“Fuck me”, whined Harry and he heard Louis let out a deep groan.

“Your wish is my command.”

Louis stripped out of his own boxer shorts and his hard dick sprung free.

Harry already wanted to get down on his knees again so he could take Louis into his mouth but Louis pulled him back up by his hair.

“I want to try something else”, whispered Louis.

Harry just nodded. He wasn’t able to form sentences anymore at this point.

Louis carefully turned him around and started to caress his lower back. Harry didn’t know how much Louis knew about these things and not knowing what would happen next turned him on even more.

Then, out of the sudden, he felt Louis’ fingers glide over his bum. Harry’s body moved back to meet Louis’ fingers in anticipation.

“Touch me”, whispered Harry and in that moment, he felt Louis’ fingers circling him.

Harry let out an inhuman moan and pushed himself further onto Louis.

He could hear Louis moan as well, even though he was way more subtle than Harry.

Just when Harry wanted to curse at Louis to finally touch him properly, Louis let go of him.

“Louis?”, asked Harry with clouded vision.

He then heard the opening of a cap and Louis squeezing something, probably lube, on his fingers.

“Relax”, said Louis and kissed Harry’s shoulder.

Harry then felt Louis’ finger on him again. This time he didn’t just leave them there to hover. Harry felt the first finger enter him and at first it felt weird. Harry was a virgin after all and he had to get used to the feeling first.

“Are you okay?”, asked Louis and planted another kiss on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry just nodded and tried to relax himself back onto Louis finger. When he managed to relax his body and muscles, a rush of arousal shot through his body. It was like nothing he had ever experienced.

“Fucking hell”, moaned Harry which gave Louis the courage to keep going.

By the time, Louis was three fingers deep, Harry was a weeping mess.

“Fuck me, Louis, please”, whined Harry incoherently and pushed himself onto Louis’ fingers again and again. With every thrust, he felt himself get more and more desperate and impatient.

When Louis’ pulled his fingers out of him, Harry protested vocally.

“Louis!”

“Fucking hell, Harry”, moaned Louis and when Harry looked back, he saw that Louis had a hand around himself. He was pumping himself slowly before he put a condom on and lubed himself up.

Just the thought of having Louis inside of him, nearly made Harry lose his mind.

“Hold still for me love”, whispered Louis while he lined himself up behind Harry.

Harry’s body was trembling in anticipation.

“Holy shit”, exhaled Louis and he entered Harry.

At first, it hurt, Harry had to tell himself to relax and take a couple of deep breaths.

“Fuck, Harry. Are you okay?”, asked Louis but Harry could barely understand him. Whatever was coming out of Louis’ mouth was barely audible at this point.

Harry took another deep breath and tried to relax into the stretch.

“Move”, he eventually said and he immediately felt Louis move deeper into him.

“Jesus”, whispered Harry.

Louis apparently had reached a point where he couldn’t even form words anymore. He just let out an animalistic moan every time he thrust into Harry.

When Louis hit Harry’s spot for the first time, Harry’s knees almost gave in.

“What the fuck”, exclaimed Harry, gripping onto the wall.

“Do that again!”

Louis, encouraged by Harry’s word, thrusted into him, hitting his spot with every move.

“I’m close”, mumbled Louis and gripped a handful of Harry’s hair.

He kept thrusting into Harry, chasing his own orgasm. The sensation of Louis pulling his hair and the constant stimulation were too much for Harry. He came with a loud moan and collapsed against the wall.

Harry wasn’t sure what happened after that. He had spaced out and entered a place where he didn’t even know his own name.

The only thing he felt were Louis’ arms around himself. He also felt Louis guide him onto his bed, putting a blanket over the two of them.

“Thank you”, whispered Louis before they both drifted off to sleep.


	15. Let it go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a hot minute, I know. And I'm super sorry! But as I've said before, I've started my masters programme and it's extremely time consuming. But I'll try and upload at least once a week! 
> 
> Some of you have said that they aren't sure how they feel about Louis and since I actually like his character, I tried to push him into the right direction a bit more :) 
> 
> Pls leave comments and kudos xxxx
> 
> Lots of love x

“Good morning”, whispered someone into Harry’s ear.

He wasn’t awake enough just yet to indicate what or who it had been but he felt a cozy warmth surrounding his body. He felt at ease.

However, when something started to rub his back, he batted his eyelashes open lazily.

Louis was spooning him from behind, slowly drawing circles on his upper back.

“You’re awake”, he simply stated.

“Hmpf”, groaned Harry.

He was especially eloquent in the morning.

Nevertheless, he tried to push himself further into Louis’ hug, enjoying the warmth and coziness.

“Not a morning person then, I suppose?”, asked Louis with a small chuckle.

“Nope”, exhaled Harry, rubbing his eyes.

Louis just chuckled and hugged him tighter.

“Do you have any plans for today?”, asked Louis.

“Not really, why?”

“I wanna take you out on a date”, replied Louis sheepishly.

That woke Harry up. A proper date?

He turned around to face Louis.

God, he looked even prettier in the morning. His hair was sticking out into all directions and his eyes were still a tiny bit glazy.

“Well, Liam once told me that there is a lake not far from here. There shouldn’t be too many people around this time of the year. We can take some food, a blanket, some coats and have a picknick?”, asked Louis with rosy cheeks.

Harry simply smiled which put a distressed look on Louis’ face.

“It’s too cheesy, innit?”, asked Louis.

“It’s perfect”, mumbled Harry and kissed Louis softly.

Their kisses had changed. They kissed like two people who were used to kissing each other. But not in a bad way. They kissed as if they were just meant to kiss each other. As if it just came naturally to them. It made Harry’s heart swell.

“Good”, smiled Louis and kissed Harry’s forehead.

“Then I reckon you should go and get changed while I run some errands.”

“Louis, wait. We have class today”, said Harry.

He wasn’t one to miss class, it just wasn’t his style.

“It’s in the name of love, Haz”, smiled Louis.

He quickly realized what he had said and started to cough awkwardly.

“Is that so? Well, then I guess I don’t have a choice”, chimed Harry.

He got up to put his clothes on that were scattered all across the floor. He realized that they hadn’t talked about what had happened the night before but Harry knew that he shouldn’t push Louis.

“I’ll see you later then?”

“Yes, I’ll come and pick you up in like an hour or so”, said Louis and kissed the tip of his nose.

Back in his own room, Harry saw his bag on the floor, remembering that he had just thrown it away the evening before.

“What are you doing to me, Louis?”, he asked himself and sighed.

Last night had been incredible. He hadn’t told Louis that he had been a virgin and he wasn’t sure whether that even was mentionable but he was certain that it had been how he had always imagined it to be and better.

A little while later, Louis knocked on the door.

“So we meet again, young Harold. Ready to go?”, asked Louis and extended his hand.

“My knight in shining armor, then?”

“You know it.”

They walked outside and to the parking lot, where Louis had parked his car. Louis wasn’t still holding his hand but Harry knew that he had to be patient with him.

Once in the car, Louis put his hand on Harry’s thigh. They listened to one of Louis’ CDs, Harry wasn’t too sure but he thought that it sounded like Oasis.

“Have you ever been?”, asked Louis, his hand still on Harry’s thigh.

“Where? The lake?”

“Yup.”

“No, I haven’t actually done much since I’ve moved here”, said Harry.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, for one, I was too occupied pining after you”, smirked Harry.

“Pining? Is that so? What an honor to be pined after by Mr. Harry Styles”, said Louis.

“Did you know?”, asked Harry.

“What?”

“That I had a thing for you, back when we met?”

“No, would’ve made things easier. I wished you did though. I think deep down, I knew that I was attracted to you, even on that first day when you ran into the streetlamp. Just took me a while to admit it. Thank you for being patient with me”, smiled Louis shyly.

“You’re more than welcome. You’re worth it”, replied Harry and they just smiled at each other for a second.

They drove in comfortable silence for a while before they arrived at a beautiful lake, surrounded by trees of all colors.

“Did I ever tell you that autumn was my favorite season? It’s magical, innit?”, smiled Harry while swirling around.

“Look at you, ballerina. You haven’t, by the way. I want to know all these little things about you though”, said Louis and took his hand mid-swirl.

“Let’s go.”

By the size of the bags that he had bought, it looked as if Louis had packed the entirety of Tesco’s and Sainsbury’s combined.

“Were you scared that we would starve out here?”, chuckled Harry.

“I might be short, but I have a massive appetite, you must know”, laughed Louis.

He spread the blanket on the ground next to the lake and started to take out all sorts of foods and beverages. He had brought fruit, biscuits, cake, wine and beer and all sorts of pastries.

“Lou, you didn’t have to do that”, insisted Harry.

“Shut up, I wanted to spoil you”, smiled Louis.

“You’re doing a pretty good job at that already”, said Harry with a fond smile on his face.

Louis sat down on the blanket, already biting into his first pastry.

“Sit down, love.”

Harry’s heart did a little jump, hearing Louis call him love.

They sat in comfortable silence on their blanket, both devouring the snacks that Louis had bought for them.

“You know what? I feel completely at ease right now”, said Louis and sighed comfortably.

“Me too. It’s funny though. I feel completely calm and at ease but at the same time I get nervous by just looking at you”, chuckled Harry.

“Is that what being in love feels like?”, asked Louis with a sincere look on his face.

“I reckon it does.”

They just looked into each other’s eyes for a while. Taking everything in.

After a while, Louis took a deep breath in, facing away from Harry.

“I’ll break up with El.”

“What?”, asked Harry, completely baffled.

“Yes, of course. I should’ve done it a long time ago. I probably should’ve done it the second I realized that I was more attracted to you than her”, confessed Louis.

“I know that you probably don’t like her but she’s actually a good person. She deserves better. She deserves someone that actually likes her in that way”, said Louis.

“I’m happy that you care about her and her feelings, it shows that you’re a good person Lou.”

“I guess. As I said, I should’ve done it ages ago. But yes, I thought that I would tell you beforehand. Please know that it was never my intention to involve you in me cheating on Eleanor. If I could turn back time, I would do things differently”, sighed Louis.

“It really does mean a lot Louis, I mean it. What will you tell her?”, asked Harry.

“Are you asking whether I’ll tell her about you and me?”

“Maybe”, mumbled Harry lowly.

“I’ve thought about that as well. Harry?”, asked Louis.

“Mhm?”

“I don’t think that I am ready to come out just yet.”

Harry didn’t answer him. He knew deep down that Louis had every right to take as much time as he needed but it still hurt.

“Are you ashamed of me?”, asked Harry.

“What? Of course not! This isn’t about you, I promise!”, said Louis and kissed Harry on the tip of his nose.

“I’ve been reading a lot of stuff online and I think that I have internalized homophobia”, sighed Louis.

Harry stayed silent, encouraging Louis to continue.

“Remember when we first met, that one time we had coffee at Labels? I told you about how being gay was seen as this disgusting disease back when I was younger. I think I kind of knew, even back then. But it just wasn’t possible. I was fighting so hard to get rid of these feelings I had towards boys. I think I kind of lost myself along the way. The way I am when I’m around you, I think that it’s the closest thing to who I really am and who I want to be. Thank you for that”, explained Louis and his eyes had become watery.

“Lou” was all that Harry could sigh before he pulled him into a hug.

“Take as much time as you need, I’ll support you no matter what. And even if I tried, I couldn’t leave you. You’re stuck with me”, sniffled Harry, his face buried in Louis’ neck.

“You know why I’m doing that, right?”, asked Louis, looking Harry deep in the eyes.

“I’m in love with you.”

A heartbeat passed before Harry was able to reply.

“You are?”

“Of course I am, how couldn’t I be?”, replied Louis and there was so much sincerity in his eyes, it almost took Harry’s breath away.

“I’m in love with you too.”

They looked at each other for another second before Harry leant in to kiss Louis softly. Their kiss was sweet. Full of promises and hope.

That was right, Harry had hope.


	16. Come over here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started my masters literally three weeks ago and I'm already thinking about dropping out, PLEASE cheer me up haha.  
> I hope all of you are happy and healthy.   
> Please leave comments and kudos :)   
> Lots of love x

Harry and Louis had arrived back home at their dorms quite late that night and Harry had practically passed out in his bed, as soon as he had entered his room.

The next morning, Harry woke up with a giddy smile on his face. He knew that they still had a long way to go but the hope that he had felt the day before was still prominent. They would be fine. Everything would be fine.

Every moment he wasn’t spending with Louis felt dull to Harry now. Even his favorite classes felt bland without Louis’ blue eyes sparkling up to him. He tried his best to stay concentrated throughout his morning classes but all he could think about was seeing Louis during lunch break.

Harry wondered whether Louis had already broken up with Eleanor as he had promised the day before. However, Harry kept telling himself that he wouldn’t push him even if he hadn’t done it yet. This wasn’t his decision to make.

Harry and one of his friends from class, Maggie, were currently on their way to the cafeteria. She was telling him something about her other professor who treated her like shit and Harry tried his hardest to listen to her but his heart did little jumps in anticipation of seeing Louis.

When he entered the cafeteria and he looked out for Louis he was met with disappointment. He wasn’t there. Liam, Zayn and a few of their friends were gathered around a table in the back but there was no trace of Louis. Or Eleanor.

Harry felt hot jealousy run through his body even though he knew that it was completely uncalled for.

Louis loved him.

Not her.

But still, where were they and what were they doing?

“Hey guys, where are Lou and El?”, asked Harry, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“No idea, Louis asked El to talk and they have been gone for at least ten minutes now”, said Zayn while shrugging his shoulders.

“M’kay”, mumbled Harry.

Out of the sudden, Harry heard someone screaming across the room.

“No, you’re just a piece of shit!”

Eleanor came into sight, running towards their table.

“El, please wait”, shouted Louis, trying to keep up with her.

“Fuck you! You don’t get to tell me what to do”, screamed Eleanor, throwing a murderous glance towards Louis.

“Just admit that you’re fucking some other skank”, she said while turning around towards Louis, throwing her hands against his torso.

“Eleanor, I said that I’m sorry, please can we talk about this somewhere else?”, pleaded Louis and Harry could see the desperation in his eyes.

“I did fucking everything for you, you ungrateful little bitch! What is it? Am I not good enough, huh? You’re so entitled Lou, aren’t you? Sitting on your high horse, thinking you’re oh-so-special, being the team’s captain. But guess what? You’re nothing. You’re worthless”, she spat into his face and the whole cafeteria had gone silent.

“Got nothing to say to that, huh? I figured”, she said, while already leaving the cafeteria.

Her friends stayed back for a second, partly struck by what had just happened and partly ashamed. They looked at Louis, to check whether he was alright, and then ran after Eleanor.

“Sorry, Louis”, shouted one of them while making her way out of the cafeteria.

Louis just stood there, in the middle of the cafeteria, deep in thought, probably not even realizing that half the college had their eyes on him.

Harry was frozen in his place, not able to move. Before he could do anything, Zayn had emerged from their group and walked towards Louis. He looked at him unsurely and then pulled him back by the elbow.

“Come on Louis, let’s get out of here.”

He threw another look towards Harry and their other friends and they followed them out of the cafeteria.

Once outside, Louis let out a breath that Harry was sure he had been holding ever since Eleanor had started yelling at him.

“Are you good?”, asked Niall who looked beyond concerned.

“I don’t know”, said Louis honestly and avoided looking at Harry.

Harry would had given everything to just go over to Louis and hug or kiss him until he was better. But he couldn’t. There were so many things that he couldn’t do. He had just realized that.

“I never meant to hurt her”, mumbled Louis.

“We know that, that’s not you. Why didn’t you tell us that you wanted to break up with her though?”, asked Zayn, still holding onto Louis arm.

“I thought that it was something I had to come to terms with on my own. And I told Harry about it”, said Louis, still not looking at Harry.

“Harry?”, mouthed Liam at Zayn and both looked kind of confused.

To them, Louis and Harry were still distant friends. They hadn’t really interacted in front of them. Everything, the “I love you’s”, the promises and the kissed had happened behind closed doors. To them, they were barely friends.

Realizing that hurt like a bitch.

“Is she right? Is there someone else?”, asked Liam.

“I need to go”, said Louis instead of answering.

He turned around and basically ran away from them.

“What the hell”, asked Zayn, looking all kinds of lost.

“I’m sorry”, was all that Harry said before he ran after Louis.

Louis might have been short but his legs did incredible things when it came to physical activity. Harry could barely keep up with him, panting heavily when he finally caught up to him.

“For fucks sake, Louis, wait!”

“I can’t talk to you right now”, answered Louis, panting as well.

“Louis, look at me. Please, love”, Harry whispered, pulling Louis into his arms.

Louis stood there stiffly for a second, not knowing whether he could let his guard down or not.

“Is it true what she said?”, he finally said, collapsing into Harry’s arms.

“What do you mean, love?”

“Is it true that I’m worthless? All I do is cause trouble, for you, for Eleanor, for my family, literally everyone around me. Why do all of you even keep up with me? You would be better off without me”, he sobbed into Harry’s chest.

“Louis, you are not worthless and you are not nothing, if anything, you are too much and baby, I mean that in the best way possible! The room feels bland before you walk in, you make everyone around you feel alive and we are all incredibly grateful to have you. So is your family. I am sure”, said Harry and after a deep breath in, he said, “I love you.”

Louis looked up at him with teary eyes.

“You really mean that, don’t you?”, he asked and Harry could feel the desperate need for love and comfort radiate from him.

“Of course I do, love.”

“I love you too, you know that, right?”

“I do.”

Louis sighed and looked at the ground for a second.

“Everyone thinks I’m so confident and full of myself but in reality, I can barely stand myself. I question everything I do and say and as soon as something slightly inconvenient happens, I get a severe case of imposter syndrome”, rambled Louis.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever told about this.”

“Well, then I am honored”, said Harry and kissed the tip of Louis’ nose.

“It has gotten better since I have met you, it truly has. I feel like I can be myself when I am around you. I’m usually too scared to show the real me. I always play that role, the role I think everyone excepts from me, but that isn’t me”, confessed Louis

“I love the real you and I am more than sure that our friends would agree with me. Let them be part of your life, Louis. Life is too heavy to carry solely on your own shoulders”, answered Harry but with a small smile on his face.

“Did I say that I love you?”

“Yeah, but keep it coming. I actually really dig that”, chuckled Harry which earned him a playful push from Louis. Harry pretended to fall backwards which finally made Louis crack a smile.

“Thank you”, he said, still having a small smile on his face.

“You’re very welcome, Lewis”, smirked Harry.

“So, now that I’m officially no longer Eleanor’s boyfriend, I was wondering..”, smiled Louis and Harry’s heart stopped beating.

“Yes?”, he breathed out lowly.

“Harold Edward Styles, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

Harry only stood there, probably looking incredibly dumbfolded. Then he threw himself into Louis’ arms.

“Kskjdfkasdf”, was all that came out of his mouth.

“I take that as a yes?”, laughed Louis.

Harry forcefully nodded his head against Louis’ hair and Louis let out a squeak of happiness.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, Louis.”


	17. Sticky fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat's out of the bag hehe :) Sorry for the late update and the cliffhanger!  
> Pls leave comments and kudos :)   
> Love, Fiona x

Louis had been a new person ever since Eleanor had broken up with him. He had spoiled Harry every time they had been together and had also brought him little gifts and sent him little notes.

Harry was on cloud nine.

They still hadn’t told any of their friends that they were together and it started to bug Harry. He didn’t want to pressure Louis into doing something that he wasn’t feeling comfortable with but it still seemed as if Louis was ashamed of him. Deep down, Harry knew that he wasn’t the problem, but his heart had a hard time accepting that.

“We haven’t gone out with the guys in a while, that would be fun”, said Harry looking at Louis expectantly.

They were sat on Louis’ tiny bed, both still naked and sweaty from having sex only a couple of minutes ago.

“Mhm”, mumbled Louis in response, seemingly uninterested in the topic.

“What’s wrong?”, asked Harry.

“I just don’t think that it is a good idea to get drunk when people that we know are around. You know how irresistible I find you, probably couldn’t keep me hands off you”, winked Louis.

Harry knew that it was meant as a joke but it still hurt. When he had come out a few years ago, he hadn’t thought that he would be pushed into the closet yet again.

“You know what I think about that, Lou”, sighed Harry.

“Harry, why is it of salience to you that I come out?”, exhaled Louis, looking rather stressed out.

“I’m just so in love with you and so proud to be your boyfriend. I want everyone to see that. Do you really think that the guys would have an issue with you being gay?”

“First of all, I’m not gay, I’m harrysexual”, winked Louis, “and second of all, it’s not as if I’ll never tell them. I just need a little bit more time.”

Harry just sighed while Louis drew little circles on his back.

“I know”, said Harry and kissed the top of Louis’ nose.

“I still wanna go out with the guys soon. I feel like we rarely see them anymore”, whined Harry.

“I miss Niall.”

“I know you do, let’s check whether they’re free this Friday, okay princess?”, said Louis, hugging Harry from behind.

“Yay!”, exclaimed Harry.

Friday came around and they were all sat in a booth at their favourite bar.

“How have you been, Lou? You don’t seem as if the breakup has been tough on you?”, asked Liam.

“I’m good actually. I guess we had it coming for a while. We just weren’t right for each other”, said Louis.

“So, there’s no way that you guys are getting back together?”, interrogated Zayn.

Harry froze. The thought of Louis being with anyone but him bothered him beyond belief.

“You good there, Haz?”, asked Niall.

“Yeah sure, just a headache.”

“That calls for more beer”, cheered Niall and passed him his bottle.

Harry chugged it down in record time, ignoring the jealousy that was rushing through him.

“You were saying, Louis?”, asked Zayn again.

“We’re definitely not getting back together, that much I can tell you”, chuckled Louis.

“Ooooh, I understand”, smirked Zayn.

“You’re seeing someone new then.”

Louis almost choked on his beer, coughing violently.

“Why would you think that?”, asked Louis, still trying to regain his breath.

“Aw, look, he’s blushing!”, laughed Niall.

“You’re in deep shit, my man. What’s her name?”, asked Liam.

“Nice try, I won’t tell you guys”, mumbled Louis.

“Come on! I bet Harry knows, don’t you Haz?”, teased Niall.

Harry couldn’t form a coherent thought and just coughed awkwardly.

“He actually does! Spill, Haz!”, exclaimed Niall.

“That’s unfair. Why does Harry know and you won’t tell us?”, pouted Zayn.

“Yeah, you two are awfully close out of the sudden, aren’t ya?”, said Niall with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“I’m not telling you”, replied Louis with a pissed voice, wiping the smile off of Zayn’s face.

“Sorry, mate. I won’t ask again. Take your time.”

“Sorry”, was the only thing Louis said.

He looked kind of hurt, probably upset about hiding the truth from his best friends. Harry, too, was hurt. This would’ve been the perfect opportunity for them to come out as a couple but it was obvious that they weren’t on the same page about that.

“Let’s get smashed”, said Louis and left for the bar before anyone could object.

“Is he ok?”, asked Niall.

The question had been directed towards Harry and it made Harry feel uneasy, answering on behalf of Louis. He didn’t know what he could tell them and what not.

“Just give him time, he’s going through something right now”, smiled Harry.

“Yeah, I can see that”, sighed Zayn.

“I wish he would be just be honest with us”, said Liam.

“Yeah, me too”, whispered Harry.

Two hours and an outstanding amount of alcohol later and Harry was pissed. They all were. They had just left their booth, on a mission to dance.

“Let’s find you some hot bloke”, shouted Niall into Harry’s ear.

“I’m good”, slurred Harry, grinning at Niall stupidly.

“Dude, you never pull. You must be beyond sexually frustrated!”

“Not that you know of”, smirked Harry, almost tripping on the slippery floor.

“Harry Edward Styles, are you engaging in sexual activities that I don’t know of?”, shouted Niall, looking truly scandalized.

Harry just wiggled his hips and giggled.

“Guys!!!! Harry is getting some!”, shouted Niall at the other three.

“Shut up!”, slurred Liam and gave Harry a pat on the back.

“Must be one happy bloke”, slurred Louis and smirked at Harry.

This tiny little bitch had the audacity to smirk at Harry while looking this good. His black skinny jeans hugged his muscular legs and his ass and Harry’s mouth was literally watering.

“I’m the lucky one”, shouted Harry, directed only towards Louis.

They danced for a while and Harry kept his gaze on Louis the entire time. The way he moved, the way his hips swayed to the beat of the music. He was breathtaking.

Before he knew it, his legs had dragged him behind Louis. He slowly grinded on Louis, moving his hips to something that sounded like Lorde’s second album.

Harry could see that goosebumps had formed on Louis’ arm and he could hear that Louis’ breath came quicker. He also saw a hint of hesitation in Louis’ eyes but it was replaced with arousal when Harry grinded against him once more.

Liam, Zayn and Niall didn’t pay attention to what they were doing. Liam and Zayn had started making out like ten minutes ago and it was highly unlikely that Niall would pay attention to anything that wasn’t his beer at this point.

“Harry”, whined Louis, which encouraged him to pull Louis even closer against him.

“Tell me what you want”, whispered Harry into Louis’ ear, grinding his hard dick against Louis’ ass.

They continued their little torture until Louis suddenly turned around, facing Harry. They were now grinding against each other, finally getting some sort of friction.

“Holy shit”, mumbled Louis.

“Yeah”, was all that Harry could breathe out.

At this point, they had forgotten about the people around them and most definitely about Niall, Liam and Zayn.

“Kiss me”, said Louis and Harry was more than happy to oblige.

They started making out and things were just getting heated when something pulled on Harry’s shoulder.

“WHAT THE FUCK”, screamed Niall, looking at them as if he had seen a ghost.

Well fuck.


	18. 1, 2, 3, 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo, I know it's been a while and I'm truly sorry! I hope all of you had a lovely christmas! I'll upload more frequently during break, big promise!  
> Love you x   
> Pls leave comments and kudos, let me know what you think :)

“WHAT THE FUCK!”  
Niall looked at them as if he was seeing a ghost. Liam and Zayn were standing behind him, looking equally baffled.   
“I, I..”, stammered Louis, face red from being caught and being absolutely wasted.  
“Louis, mate, what the fuck is going on?”, screamed Zayn through the roaring noises of the crowd.   
Harry struggled even following their words. His head was spinning. He still felt Louis’ hand in his.   
They were screwed. He was screwed. Louis would hate him. Forever.   
Harry was aware that he had wanted Louis and him to come out but he had never meant for it to happen this way. He had never meant to hurt Louis.   
“Should we take this outside?”, screamed Liam.  
Louis just nodded, still looking both pale and flustered.   
They made their way outside, Harry never letting go of Louis’ hand.  
“It’s gonna be alright”, whispered Harry into Louis’ ear, apparently having gained back his voice.   
“Are you sure?”, whispered Louis back.   
“I am sure.”  
Louis send him a small smile that Harry gladly returned. It would be fine. He knew it.   
Once outside, they were just standing there in silence. Harry still holding Louis’ hand.   
“Okay, I have questions”, exclaimed Niall.  
“Shoot”, said Louis, already looking over it.   
“Why, when, how, where?”, enumerated Niall and Zayn let out a small giggle.   
“Alright, calm down, cowboy. Let them breathe.”  
“Why don’t we start with the when?”, asked Zayn softly and Louis nodded.   
“Could we maybe talk about this over some food, I’m starving”, asked Liam and they all let out a laugh.   
“Word, word!”  
They were sat in a kebab shop, the only place that had still been open and Liam and Niall were digging into their kebabs. Harry was too anxious to eat.  
“Harry, mind if I tell my point of view?”, asked Louis. Harry just nodded.  
“Okay, wow this is weird”, said Louis, smiling shyly.   
“Lou, you have nothing to worry about. None of us actually cares. Look at Niall, he’s more interested in his kebab than what you’ve got to say”, smiled Zayn.  
“He’s right”, said Niall with a mouth full of food.  
Louis visibly calmed down.   
“I first saw Harry when he walked against this streetlamp. The dork. Niall, do you remember?”  
Niall nodded and let out a giggle.  
“That was class, Haz.”  
“Anyways, I saw him and I don’t want to sound cheesy but I think I had a thing for him from the first moment. It took me a loooong time to actually identify what I was feeling. You must know, growing up in Doncaster, being gay just wasn’t a thing. Like, I had heard about it but people weren’t actually gay there. It just wasn’t a possibility”, said Louis and took a deep breath.   
“But we are gay and you never had a problem with that, right?”, asked Liam with true interest on his face.   
“Of course not. I never had a problem with gay people, as long as it wasn’t me. I don’t even know what I was so scared of. I just was. So, I kept ignoring what I felt for Harry, even though I realized that it was getting stronger by the day. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t gay, I had El, you know? Poor girl, looking back, I was never really interested in her. She’s a sweet girl but I kept coming up with excuses why we couldn’t have sex. It was horrible. I don’t know why she even wanted to stay my girlfriend.”  
Louis was interrupted by Niall’s giggle.   
“Mate that’s proper gay, I would never pass an opportunity to do it with Jade. Should’ve been an indicator, ahah.”  
“You just laugh, I was young and dumb and also in denial”, smirked Louis.   
Harry was glad to see that he was back to making jokes. This would be fine.   
God, he was so in love with Louis. Harry had heard Louis’ point of view before but it reminded him again how very much he loved Louis. Everything about him. Just sitting there and admiring what he was like made Harry’s heart jump.   
“Okay, where was I? Yes, so I was highly in denial but Harry just was everywhere and if he wasn’t, he was in my head. Then when I saw him with Jack, I knew that this wasn’t just platonically, I was jealous and also head over heels in love with Harry. We hooked up before Eleanor and I broke up and I’m not proud of it but I can’t take it back. I don’t regret falling in love with Harry”, ended Louis his little speech.  
Harry was beyond glad that Louis hadn’t gotten into detail about them hooking up. There were certain things that should just be kept a secret.  
“No worries about El, she was cheating on you before you even met Harry”, said Zayn with a small voice.  
“WHAT?”, exclaimed Niall.  
“I found out a few days after you guys had broken up and didn’t want to say anything in case you were still hurting, apparently she hooked up with some guy from the team. Sorry, Lou”, explained Zayn.  
“This is great!”, exclaimed Louis excitedly.   
“What?”, said Liam, Zayn, Niall and Harry in unison.   
“Now I don’t have to feel too guilty anymore! Obviously, cheating is still the worst and I would never do it again but I mean, that somehow makes it better right?”  
“If you say so”, laughed Liam.   
For a moment, they were all just silent. Taking in the salience of the moment. They were out. They were free.   
“You guys do make a cute couple, I have to say”, smiled Niall.   
Harry looked into Louis’ blue eyes and saw the sparkle in them.   
“Thank you”, said Harry.   
Louis gave him a tiny smile and kissed him on the cheek.   
“I was so scared, feels ridiculous now.”  
“It isn’t. If you’re feeling it or felt it, it’s valid. I was there once too”, said Zayn and patted Louis on the back.   
“Yup”, said Liam.   
They made their way to their dorms, Louis and Harry holding hands the whole way.   
“Are you guys gonna go to the next dorm party as a couple then?”, asked Louis.   
“You can bet your ass”, laughed Louis.   
Harry just hummed along, happy and content. Life could be so beautiful.


	19. Generation Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few things.   
> I mentioned Jesy in honor of her departure from Little Mix. I was blessed enough to see her in concert with Little Mix last year, she's a boss bitch. I hope she's happier now!!  
> And second of all, I always try to give Eleanor a happy ending in every story because it hurts my heart to see all of the hate that she is getting. She seems like such a sweet girl, she doesn't deserve what she's getting from some Larries. 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter, I really enjoyed writing this one :) 
> 
> Pls leave comments and kudos, let me know what you think!! xx

Harry felt as if he was floating over the next few days. He was truly levitating.   
His favorite thing to do was still laying in Louis’ arm, naked in bed. But spending time with their friends and being out came damn close.   
Especially Niall had become their biggest supporter, more than once, they had to take his phone away from him because he wouldn’t stop taking pictures of Louis and Harry cuddling.   
They still hadn’t come out to anyone else. To be fair, they didn’t really have many friends apart from Liam, Zayn and Niall. So whatever.   
It was the evening of the next dorm party. This time, Jade’s dorm was hosting. Harry had never been to one of their parties but he had heard that they were supposed to be immaculate.   
“Should we match, Lou?”, asked Harry, spinning in front of the mirror, admiring his long legs.   
“That’s so gay”, laughed Louis, throwing a pillow at Harry.   
“That’s kind of the point”, said Harry, throwing the pillow back at Louis.   
“Your wish shall be my command”, hummed Louis, pulling his shirt over his head.   
“What do you wanna wear then?”  
“I was thinking black skinny jeans and a band tee?”  
“That’s all? I was expecting matching pink suits or some shit”, laughed Louis and Harry just rolled his eyes.   
“You just wait, one day..”, began Harry but Louis tackled him onto the bed.   
“Never in your wildest dreams, Styles”, chimed Louis and kissed Harry lovingly.   
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. Are you scared at all?”, asked Harry with a worried look on his face.   
“Scared of what? Your fourth nipple? Yes!”, cackled Louis.   
Very funny.   
“Everyone will know that we’re together”, mumbled Harry, successfully ignoring Louis’ lame joke. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one with the lame jokes?  
“Not at all”, smiled Louis.   
“I’ve got you, that’s all that counts.”  
Harry just smiled at Louis, admiring how far they’d come.   
“So, what were you thinking? Mac or Oasis?”  
“Fleetwood Mac all the way, Lou.”  
“Fine.”  
They were on their way to the party, holding hands. A few people crossed their path but no one was sending them weird glances. This really wasn’t Holmes Chapel anymore, wasn’t it?  
“Do you reckon El will be there?”, asked Louis.   
“For sure, maybe she’ll bring her loOoOver”, said Harry, ragging Louis.  
“Whoever it is, I definitely won the breakup. He couldn’t possibly be fitter than you, wee Harold”, said Louis with a smirk on his lips.  
“Someone is in a good mood”, laughed Harry.   
“I’ll take that as a compliment, by the way”, he added.   
“You should.”  
They arrived and the first few people were looking at their intertwined hands. Harry began to feel a tiny bit uneasy but then he spotted Zayn and Liam in the crowd. They made their way over to them and hugged them, them shouting in their ears.   
“So proud of you, Louis”, said Zayn, patting Louis’ back.   
“Same, to be honest”, smiled Louis.   
They saw Jade and Niall walk over to them from the other side of the room.   
“Am I imagining things, or are you two holding hands?”, chimed Jade.   
Louis and Harry just grinned in response and Jade let out a happy giggle.   
“I am so happy for you guys. I always had a feeling. I’ve got to go and tell Jesy, Perrie and Leigh. They’re going to be over the moon!”, she exclaimed and ran towards the door.   
“I’ve never seen her so excited. Not even when I told her that I loved her. Wow. I need a beer”, sighed Niall and Liam, Zayn, Harry and Louis and burst out laughing.   
Over the course of the evening, at least ten people came up to them to tell them what a beautiful couple they made. Harry couldn’t stop grinning. He hadn’t imagined it to go so smoothly. Louis’ bashful smile also hadn’t left his face, his cheeks had to hurt at this point. Harry was on cloud nine.   
As the evening went on, Harry and Louis became more and more tipsy. Whenever they had finished their drink, Niall just miraculously came out of nowhere with a new drink in his hands.   
“He has a gift really”, said Louis after the fifth time.   
“If you want to call it that”, slurred Harry but with a happy grin on his face.   
“Come on and dance with me, Harold”, hummed Louis drunkenly.   
“Fine.”  
They were swaying their hips to the sound of the music, bodies pressed together. Harry could feel Louis’ hot skin against his and he was starting to get aroused.   
“I wish we were somewhere else right now”, he said into Louis’ ear lowly.   
“What would you do then?”, replied Louis and gave Harry an intense look.   
“I’ll show you later.”  
Louis just smirked and pressed himself against Harry a little more. This man would be the death of him.   
“What the fuck is that”, shouted someone loudly behind them.   
Harry turned around slowly and saw Jack standing behind them, having a mad glare on his face.   
“What the fuck do you want?”, hissed Louis and Harry had to hold him back. Otherwise he probably would’ve jumped Jack right then and there.   
“I knew it, you two are fucking. Did you just give the knight in shining armor so you could get into his pants then?”, hissed Jack towards Louis. He was clearly wasted.   
“Stay the fuck away from me and my boyfriend”, shouted Louis angrily.   
“Or what?”, replied Jack with an evil grin.   
“I don’t think you got the message mate. Stay the fuck away”, said a female voice from behind Jack.   
Harry couldn’t believe his eyes. There stood Eleanor, angrily glaring at Jack.   
“I swear to god, if you don’t leave them alone, I will call the police. Don’t test me Jack Grickshaw”, said Eleanor, still glaring.   
“Fine, whatever”, replied Jack angrily.   
Harry let out the breath that he had been holding.   
“What the hell, Eleanor?”, said Louis.  
“Take it as my way to apologize. I know that you know that I cheated. And you know, I didn’t take the breakup well. I’m sorry for losing it. If I had known that you had struggled with your sexuality, I would have been more understanding. At least that’s what I’m hoping. Friends?”, she said, giving them both a timid smile.   
“It’s fine, El. I should be the one apologizing, really”, said Louis.   
“No. No, you are not. I know you, I can imagine how hard it has been to come to terms with being gay. I don’t blame you”, she smiled.   
They hugged and Harry stood there, feeling emotionally bruised. This was just too pure.   
“You aren’t a bad person, El. I wish everyone could see that”, said Louis and kissed her on the cheek.   
“Thank you, Louis.”  
She left and Louis chuckled.   
“Wow, rescued by Eleanor. Who would’ve thought?”  
“Not me, that’s for sure”, laughed Harry.  
“Let’s go home. I’m done with this party”, giggled Louis.   
“So over it.”


	20. Chapter 20: Was it something I said?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // smut
> 
> Hiiii, warning, this is purely smut, if you don't feel comfortable with that, pls skip :) 
> 
> Pls leave comments and kudos, let me know what you think :)

Harry and Louis stumbled against Harry’s door, kissing heatedly.

“Thank god we left, I couldn’t have stayed at that god-awful party any longer”, moaned Louis.

Harry giggled into their kiss, nodding slightly.

“Mhm, agreed.”

“You’re so hot, I still can’t believe my luck”, mumbled Louis.

“Show me then”, whispered Harry. Looking into Louis’ eyes from underneath his lashes.

Louis let out a low growl and pinned Harry against the door. They stumbled into Harry’s dorm room and Louis quickly took off Harry’s top (his actual shirt, not himself J). His fingertips traveled down Harry’s spine.

“Turn around, love”, whispered Louis and Harry was more than happy to comply.

Louis kissed down Harry’s spine which left a tingling sensation on Harry’s skin. He felt feverish but shuddered at the same time.

“Your skin is so soft”, mumbled Louis and Harry just purred in response.

“What do you want me to do?”, asked Louis.

“Fuck me”, exhaled Harry.

“Please”, he added.

“You know that I can’t resist you when you’re begging, princess”, let Louis out, his voice sounding strained.

“I’ll make you feel so good.”

Louis slowly put Harry’s pants down, caressing his sides. Harry inhaled sharply, his body giving into the sensation that Louis’ fingers left behind on his hips.

Once Louis had undressed him, he softly pushed his shoulders against the wall.

“Bend down, will you?”

Harry arched his back, trying to be good for Louis.

“Good girl”, rasped Louis and Harry could feel his cock getting harder by the second.

He felt Louis’ fingers near his entrance. The sensation of the cold air mixed perfectly with his hot skin. He didn’t even know which feeling to embrace first.

“Please”, Harry begged once again.

Louis showed him mercy and slowly inserted one of his fingers inside of him.

Harry didn’t think that he would ever get used to the sensation of having Louis inside of him. It was almost too much.

He moaned out lowly and arched his back some more.

“Fuck me”, he whispered, moving onto Louis’ finger.

“Patience, princess.”

Louis began moving the one finger he had inserted in Harry and he was sure that his mind had gone completely blank. All he could focus on was LouisLouisLouis.

“Want more?”, asked Louis teasingly.

“Please.”

Louis didn’t take it slow this time, instead of just one additional finger, he added two.

Harry felt the stretch and moaned down on Louis’ fingers.

“God, yes.”

“You like that, don’t you princess?”

“Yes, so much. More”, said Harry incoherently.

He felt Louis fidget behind him, it seemed as if Louis couldn’t hold back any longer. Being too aroused to wait for another second.

“I can’t wait any longer”, said Louis breathlessly, retrieving his fingers out of Harry.

Harry could hear Louis opening a condom while he was still pressed against the wall.

“Louis, please”, he moaned in a strangled voice.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good”, exhaled Louis, lining himself up behind Harry.

He pushed into Harry in one swift movement. It hurt a little bit at first but once Harry had adjusted, the sensation took over.

“Move, Louis, please”, whined Harry into the wall.

Louis slowly started to move into him and Harry felt as if he was being split into two. It was mind-blowing. Everything Louis did to his body was mind-blowing.

Louis kissed up and down his spine and bit into his neck while thrusting into him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear every now and then.

Harry was unable to put the sensation into words, just continuously moaning out.

“Gosh Harry, I’m close already”, exhaled Louis sharply.

“Come for me, beautiful”, he whispered into Harry’s ear while still thrusting into him.

He picked up speed and Harry felt as if he was levitating. His toes began to curl into the carpet and his legs started to shake.

“Oh god”, he exclaimed, already feeling his orgasm.

“Louis!”, he shouted out and he felt Louis’ fingers dig into his flesh.

When Harry’s orgasm hit him, he forgot where and who he was for a second. The rush of adrenaline flooded through his body and he had never felt so alive before.

After he had come down from his high, he felt Louis’ weight against his back body. Louis had crashed onto him after he had come as well. Both were now panting rapidly.

“This was..”, began Louis and Harry just nodded.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.”

Harry looked over his shoulder, smiling at Louis’ red face.

“I will never get tired of this”, giggled Louis, pulling out of Harry.

“I love you, so much”, said Harry, kissing Louis on the cheek.

“I love you more, Curly.” 


	21. Enfance 80

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hi, Louis is finally facing his demons!  
> Pls leave kudos and let me know what you think x

“What are you so afraid of?”, asked Harry, getting more and more impatient.

“I just think that it is not necessary. My family is coming to visit soon. There is absolutely no need to go back to Doncaster for the weekend”, said Louis stubbornly.

“Louis, you can’t run forever. This place is home”, sighed Harry, caressing Louis’ back.

“It is not. You are”, whispered Louis, kissing the top of Harry’s head.

Harry’s heart melted a little but he wouldn’t let Louis off the hook just yet. He had planned to get Louis to face his past and Doncaster for a while now and with them being happy and out at university, he thought this to be the perfect opportunity.

“I’ll be there if you need me. You said yourself that your family are tolerant people, they won’t mind you dating me. And for the rest, fuck them.”

“You’re probably right. I guess we’re going to Doncaster then”, sighed Louis.

“Yay!”, exclaimed Harry.

“You just wait until you see the hell whole”, chuckled Louis.

“It can’t be that bad”, smiled Harry.

He had been wrong. Doncaster really wasn’t pretty, or inviting, or charming or anything remotely positive. It was a lot of brick and the people were pricks too. Haha.

“Wow, that’s where you grew up then?”, mumbled Harry.

“Home sweet home”, chuckled Louis while driving along the main street in Harry’s car.

They had decided that they would take Harry’s car rather than the train. They had, however, decided that Louis should drive. Louis was an excellent driver. At least he thought so. Harry was suffering in silence every time Louis took a sharp turn.

They arrived in front of Louis’ house and Harry saw that Louis was smiling. A woman that looked like she was Louis’ mum was already sitting on the porch out front.

“Louis!”, she exclaimed.

“Mum!!!!”

Louis jumped out of the car to hug his mother and Harry had a wide smile on his face.

“I’m so glad that you’re home, honey. You haven’t been here in ages! Doncaster has missed you”, she smiled and gave him a little peck on the cheek.

“I bet”, mumbled Louis. Harry was quite sure that he was the only one who had heard it.

“Who’s that, sweetie?”, asked Louis mum, pointing at Harry.

“Excuse me, ma’am. Where are my manners? I’m Harry”, said Harry politely, extending his hand for Louis’ mum to take it.

Jay blushed slightly.

“Wow, hello, I am Jay. Louis, how did you manage to befriend such a well-mannered young man?”, she giggled.

Her giggle was lovely. It reminded Harry of Louis’.

“God, mum. Stop thirsting over Harry. I assure you, he’s not interested”, laughed Louis.

Harry couldn’t hold it back and started laughing uncontrollably.

“Louis!”, him and Jay said in unison.

“You’re unbelievable. Excuse my son, Harry”, said Jay while dragging them into the house.

“LOUIS”, screamed six people at once.

“Girls, when did you grow so tall?”, said Louis, taking every single one of them in.

“You haven’t grown an inch”, mocked a tall girl with platinum blonde hair.

“Oh hello, handsome”, she said, looking Harry up and down.

“You guys are unbelievable, leave Harry alone”, said Louis.

“Come on, Lou. I don’t mind it”, smiled Harry, prying under the attention.

“Aw, he calls you Lou. That’s so sweet!”, exclaimed one of the twins.

“Are you and Louis university friends? I can’t wait to go to university and make university friends as well”, said the other twin.

Harry couldn’t tell them apart. It was fascinating really.

“You could call me that”, smiled Harry.

They spent the remainder of the afternoon, chatting with Louis’ family, having tea and biscuits. Harry felt the purest form of contentment. It was magical. He loved his sister Gemma but he had never known how truly bonding such a big family could be. The way Louis treated his siblings made Harry’s heart swell. He could tell that every single one of them was dear and of salience to him. If he hadn’t been in love with Louis before, he sure as hell was now.

They hadn’t really agreed on anything regarding them coming out to Louis’ family and Harry knew that he was in no position to push Louis. It was his family and Harry was glad that he had taken him to meet them at all. Even just a few weeks ago, the thought of meeting Louis’ family as his boyfriend would have been so absurd but here he was.

“You like him, don’t you?”, smirked Charlotte.

“What?”, said Harry, almost choking on his cuppa.

They were sat a wee bit away from the others and Harry was sure that no one else could hear them.

“Oh my god, you really are shagging, aren’t you? I was just messing with you at first, oh my god!! I can totally see it now”, Charlotte laughed.

“Keep it down, will you?”, mumbled Harry.

He was blushing immensely and Lottie just kept on giggling.

“How on earth did my brother bag you? You’re way too hot for him”, smirked Charlotte.

Harry laughed with her and Louis sent them a confused glance.

“I love him. He’s the most beautiful human being on earth, if you ask me. I’m the lucky one”, said Harry, staring into Louis’ direction.

“Harry stop it or I’ll vomit!”, said Lottie, pretending to be sick.

“I’m so happy for the two of you”, she then said, patting Harry’s shoulder.

“That’s what I told Louis as well, I don’t know what he’s afraid of”, said Harry with a sad smile on his face.

“I can assure you that every person in this room feels the way I do. However, that doesn’t mean that all of Doncaster shares our beliefs”, Lottie said with a concerned look on her face.

“Yeah, Louis said something along those lines.”

“When Louis was younger, there was, well, an incident.”

“An incident?”, asked Harry confusedly.

“I was too young to understand things but mum told me about it a few years ago. Louis had this friend. His name is Stan. They grew incredibly close in a matter of weeks. I think Louis was 14 years old, something along those lines. Anyways, mum told me that they grew incredibly close and that, in her opinion, they were way more than just friends. She didn’t want to talk to him about it because she felt as if it was his own journey to embark on. She then said that out of the sudden, Stan stopped coming over. Louis became this gloomy person and started dating girls merely weeks later. We both think that Louis had confessed his feelings only to have Stan push him away. Maybe even called him names. It’s a small town after all”, said Lottie.

She sighed with a sad smile on her face. Harry didn’t know what to say. He knew that something had happened in Louis’ past that had sent his internalized homophobia skyrocketing. It was sad thinking about Louis having his heart broken.

“I sometimes see Stan in the shops. He stares at us all as if we were aliens. Never says hello. I don’t know what is going on in this kid’s head”, she sighed.

“Thank you for confiding in me, Lottie. You may not know it, but you helped me understand Louis a little bit better”, smiled Harry.

“No worries. I know that he’s complicated but he’s worth it. Hold onto him”, she smiled, giving him a hug.

Louis was giving them a worried look. But when Harry smiled over at him, he returned the smile.

“What were you talking about with Lottie”, interrogated Louis.

“Nothing much”, smiled Harry.

They were walking down the main street and Louis even let him hold his hand. They had said that they would go to the shops to get some more biscuits.

“Sure didn’t look like nothing”, joked Louis but Harry could hear the worry in his voice.

“I would never do anything to harm you, you know that right?”, said Harry and took a moment to kiss the tip of Louis nose.

“I know”, Louis sighed.

They stood next to each other in the biscuit aisle.

“For the love of god, why are there so many different brands and why do my sisters have a favorite one that I am not able to locate?”, exhaled Louis and Harry just giggled.

“There they are”, said Harry, taking not one but five packs.

“Thanks, H. What would I do without you?”, giggled Louis and pulled him into a hug.

“Louis?”, said someone from the other end of the aisle.

“Stan?”, asked Louis, disbelief in his voice.

“What? That is Stan?”, asked Harry, shocked.

“How do you know who Stan is?”, asked Louis.

“What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you in ages!”, said Stan.

It was obvious that he was trying too hard to make small talk. However, his reddened cheeks and his sweating palms gave him away, when he shook their hands.

“Back for the weekend”, mumbled Louis, avoiding Stan’s and Harry’s look.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name? Are you Louis’ boyfriend?”, said Stan, smiling at Harry.

Louis dropped the packets of biscuits.

“Why would you think that?”, he exclaimed.

“Louis, it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend with me. I originally came over to apologize to you. I should have done this ages ago”, said Stan. Now, he was the one looking at the floor.

“Apologize for what?”, gritted Louis out through his teeth.

“When you confessed your feelings for me all these years ago. My reaction was horrible. I only realized how bad my internalized homophobia was when my father died a few years ago. He was incredibly homophobic. And he was all that I had growing up. I worshipped him. His flaws only occurred to me once he was gone. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was punishing the two of us for me being gay”, he said and Harry could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“Wait. You are gay then?”, asked Louis.

“Of course”, laughed Stan.

“I’m actually married. His name is Oli. Maybe you can meet him someday”, smiled Stan.

“Do you forgive me then?”, asked Stan.

“Yeah, I guess I do. I remember your dad. He was scary, man”, chuckled Louis.

“That he was”, said Stan, chuckling as well.

“Anyways, Oli is waiting for me. I should get going. Treat him well, will ya?”, Stan said directed towards Harry.

“I sure will”, smiled Harry.

After Stan had left, Louis let out the breath that he had been holding.

“Did that really just happen?”

Harry chuckled.

“I guess I have Lottie to blame for you not even being surprised about what just happened?”, Louis laughed.

“Your family knows you better than you think, Louis. I think it’s time for you to actually communicate with them. I can assure you, they will surprise you. In a positive way”, said Harry and kissed Louis.

“You’re right. Let’s go home.”

When they came through the door, Harry saw that the Tomlinson’s were still gathered around the table.

“Harry, Louis, you’re back! Come and have a seat”, encouraged Jay.

“We want to talk to you, Louis”, said Lottie.

Harry looked over at her and she nodded at him.

“Could I say something first?”, asked Louis.

“Sure, honey.”

“I wasn’t entirely honest. Harry isn’t just a mate from university. He’s my boyfriend. And I’m incredibly in love with him. Everything about him really”, Louis said and smiled over at Harry.

“Oh honey”, said Jay and pulled them both into a hug.

“That’s what we wanted to talk to you about too. I love you so much. I just wanted to tell you that you can talk to me about anything. I will always love you, so much. And I am so happy for the two of you. You make an immaculate couple”, said Jay with tears in her eyes.

“Thank you, mum”, said Louis and Harry could see that he was fighting back tears as well.

“Thank you for making my son so happy, Harry”, said Jay and now it was on Harry to hold his tears back.

“I hope that you can be yourself and happy now, Boo.”

“I hope so too, mum. No, I know it.”


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I hope you guys liked the story as much as I did!!!   
> Pls leave comments and kudos, as always, let me know what you think! xx  
> Lots of love and I will see you soon with a new story x

5 years later

It had been five sears since Louis fell in love with Harry and looking back at it, it had probably been the best but also the most terrifying moment in his life.

And thank fuck that he had been brave enough.

They both finished university and stayed in close contact with Zayn, Liam and Niall. They were now both working in London, Harry is a writer and Louis as a drama teacher. 

Louis and him were happier than ever, apart from the usual issues couples had obviously, so happy that Harry even thought about proposing once or twice.

That’s why he sent the following message to three different numbers.

Hey, can you come over? H. x

Liam, Zayn and Niall all arrived within the next 20 minutes and Harry was anxiously biting his nails, he was basically shitting himself. Already.

“Hey Haz, you good, why did you call us here?”, asked Niall with a confused look on his face.

Harry had a massive grin on his face, he probably looked like a proper lunatic.

“So guys, I was thinking.”

“Shocker”, giggled Zayn and Harry pouted.

“I’m gonna ignore that, thank you very much, so as I said, I was thinking, since you, Liam and Zayn, are already married and you and Jade are engaged, Niall, there is only one logical thing that should come next”, said Harry hoping that his friends would get the hint.

A massive smile spread on their faces and Niall jumped into Harry’s arms.

“You little fucker, I was waiting for one of you to come up with the topic, tell us your plans, fucking yes”, screamed Niall in his face.

“I haven’t planned anything too fancy, it just needs to be that one specific spot”, said Harry and smiled contently.

Two days later he found himself standing at the same streetlamp that he had run into when he first saw Louis five years ago.

He had always felt some sort of magic connection to the place, he even came here every now and then to feel the intensity of his love for Louis.

He had called Louis, making it sound like he was hurt and in some sort of emergency, he actually felt lowkey bad for lying.

A few minutes later he could see Louis approach in his car at an insane speed and he couldn’t wipe the dumb grin off his face.

“Harry, darling, what is wrong? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”, asked Louis while checking every last inch of Harry to make sure there weren’t any bruises.

“Louis, calm down, okay? I’m not hurt”, said Harry and he could feel the nervousness creep in.

“What do you mean, why did you call me here then? Where the fuck are we even?”, said Louis and Harry’s heart dropped for a second, he hadn’t considered that Louis had forgotten the place that felt so special to him.

“Why are we at university? Oh god, did I forget some sort of class reunion?”, asked Louis and wiggled his eyebrows.

Harry let out a barked laugh but shook his head.

“Calm down Lou, you didn’t forget anything. Would you just stand here? And listen? Alright?” 

Louis nodded, looking a little dumbfounded.

“Louis William Tomlinson, I remember the last time I were stood here together five years ago. It feels like it was yesterday but on the other hand it feels like we’ve spent an eternity together ever since. That day when I first saw you, it felt as if I had gotten a gift, a gift that keeps on giving, every day. You give me love and admiration, every day. You make me feel the happiest I could ever be, every day. And I love you, more and more every day. I don’t think that anyone had as many ups and downs and obstacles as we did, but I wouldn’t want to change a single thing, because they all brought us where we are today. Together. I’ve told you a million times that you couldn’t even picture how much I love you and I’ve also told you a million times that you’re a bloody idiot. I still firmly believe in both of these things”, said Harry and they both giggled.

“I’ve also told you that I couldn’t picture my life without you, and in that as well, I still believe firmly. I could not imagine my life without you and I don’t want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to make memories, I want to see the world and I want to love you until the day that I die. 

That’s why I want to ask you, said Harry and got down on one knee.

“Louis William Tomlinson, will you marry me?” 

For a second there was silence but then a huge smile erupted on Louis’ face.

“Yes, you bloody idiot.” 

The end


End file.
